


Heavy Rain

by EmmyGreene



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, First Kiss, First Love, Flashbacks, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Sad with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 13:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12190674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmyGreene/pseuds/EmmyGreene
Summary: Once again a grown up Beth Greene finds herself running back to the one person she's always turned too when times are tough, Daryl Dixon.**** completed ****





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> I intended this to be a one shot but its just getting too long so I think I'll post it in three parts instead.  
> Part I is a little slow but I felt it was necessary. Enjoy :)

_It was raining heavily and the sky was dark although it was only noon. It was miserable weather which reflected Beth’s mood. It was the kind of day that needed to be grey and horrible because that’s what she felt inside. She’d felt bad enough at the house, as she’d fought with her sister, and her dark mood only worsened as she continued to drive out of town, tears streaming down her face with no idea where she was headed. She knew only that she had to get away for a while. She had to place some physical space between herself and Maggie. They’d had fights before, it was a mandatory part of being sisters, and especially Maggie’s sister, but it had never been like this. Her selfish to the core sister had really shown her true colors this time. She wanted to sell the farm. Their farm. Sure, neither of them lived there anymore but it felt, in some way, like it was the last remaining link to their family. They were all that was left, the two Greene girls. Beth wanted to come back home to that farm every summer for the rest of her life. She wanted to have kids someday and take them there, to rock them in the same cane chair on the porch where he parents rocked her. Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks as she thought about that, nursing a baby on that worn out chair while her parents smiled down from heaven._  
_She tried to shake the thoughts from her mind and in doing so took stock of her surroundings. She sighed when she realized exactly where she’d headed, the same place she’d always gone when life got too hard and she needed someone to listen, Daryl Dixon._  
_‘Bad habits die hard’ she murmured to herself._

  
_She’d always known Daryl Dixon, the way you know everyone in a small town. You recognize them, you know who their friends are but you don’t actually know a darn thing about them. She knew he existed, she knew he wore dark jeans and a leather vest, he lived in the woods with his brother and Daddy, in a shack they called a cabin. None of them had ever done a day’s honest work in their life. Everyone knew that, everyone knew him. It wasn’t until she was sixteen they officially met though._

   


  
It was Maggie’s 22nd Birthday and Shawn had organised fake IDs for both of them. It didn’t sit right with Beth, she had no intention of drinking and wasn’t really interested in breaking the law either but finally her siblings convinced her they should have at least one night out together before Maggie finished college and moved to God-only-knows-where. So she’d gone, she decided to play the part of designated driver so she didn’t have to worry about her wasted siblings getting home. She sat in the bar, quickly forgotten by Maggie and her college friends and Shawn desperately trying to pursue them. She watched her brother stagger over to band, trying to put in a request. She watched her sister line up another round of shots and shrank further back into the booth she’d been hiding in. She finished her soda and decided to head to the bar for another when she tripped over someone’s foot and fell to the floor, breaking her ankle in the process. Before she even had time to register what had happened he was on the floor next to her.  
‘I’m sorry’ he mumbled.  
She nodded and tried to stand up but winced.  
‘Yer not ok are yer? He asked her. She shook her head. In one quick move he scooped her into his arms, bridal style and headed for the door.  
‘Where are you takin’ me?’ she asked.  
‘Hospital, my trucks just there’ he said nodding to a rusty old utility vehicle.  
‘Maggie, my sister, she’s…’  
‘drunk’ he cut her off. ‘Can hardly stand straight let alone drive. And yer brother headed out the backdoor with some girl’  
‘How do you know?’  
‘Just do. Here’ he placed her in the seat and drove quickly to the hospital. She expected him to leave her there, after the staff came out and helped her transfer to a wheelchair but to her surprise he stayed. He didn’t talk much, hardly at all but he sat with her until they took her up to the ward. At that point she conceded ‘I’d better call my Daddy’ he nodded.  
‘I’ll go back for yer brother ‘n sister, make sure they get home safe’ he said and left as though it was nothing, as though he had all the time in the world to look after the irresponsible Greene kids.

   


The next time she saw him was almost six months later. She’d expected to catch sight of him in and around town before then and it hadn’t happened. She was leaving the grocery store with her father when she caught sight of him across the street.  
‘I believe we owe you quite the thank you’ Hershel had said before inviting Daryl to the farm for dinner. Of course he’d declined, he didn’t do wholesome family dinners and Beth couldn’t help but feel disappointment. That disappointment lingered far longer than it should have and she brooded for the remainder of the weekend. She had a crush and it made her blush just thinking about it. She didn’t have much time to think about it though because soon after that her Momma got sick. Real sick, with cancer. Their neighbor Jimmy started hanging around, helping Hershel at the farm so he could devote himself to his wife and Beth sort of just ended up with him, out of convenience more than anything else. Her Momma fought back but the cancer was stronger than her frail body and she passed away the day after Christmas.  
The night her Momma died Beth didn’t know what to do. She ran to her car and started to drive. She wanted to be far, far away from anything that even remotely reminded her of her mother. She headed to the outskirts of town and up the dirt road that lead to a falling down cabin. She pulled up and noticed him sitting on the front step, cigarette in hand and a bottle of something in the other. He stood up and walked over to her.  
‘Beth, what’re yer doin’ here?’ he asked.  
She climbed out of the car and threw herself against him.  
‘My Momma’ she said. She didn’t need to say another word. The whole town knew Annette Greene was sick and poor Hershel was going to lose his beloved second wife.  
‘I got ya’ he said loosely wrapping one arm around her. Eventually she calmed down enough to come and sit with him. He didn’t want her in the house so they sat on his front step. He talked about losing his own mother and how much it affected him.  
‘I aint ever eaten peach cobbler since she died’ he said quietly, ‘I just couldn’t after that.’  
She nodded. ‘How did you go on though?’  
He shrugged. ‘Didn’t have a choice. Neither do yer, different but still, yer just gonna have to get used to it.’  
She nodded.  
‘Where’s your family?’ she finally asked, they’d sat there for hours now and she hadn’t seen any other Dixons.  
‘drunk or high somewhere’ he answered.  
‘Both of them?’  
He nodded. ‘Happy Holidays’  
‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t a… you’ve got yer own…stuff, don’t need me’  
He shook his head ‘I’m glad yer here. Better than just driving ‘til ya hit somethin’ or drinking yerself stupid’  
‘Thank you’  
He looked at her again, puffy eyes and tear stain cheeks and still she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.  
‘Why did ya come here?’ he asked.  
She looked down ‘I just wanted to be somewhere far away from it all and yer face flashed through my mind and I thought how you were so kind to me after I broke my ankle… I just sorta headed here without really thinking it through’.  
He nodded, ‘yer welcome anytime Beth.’

   


To her surprise, he turned up at Annette’s funeral. She didn’t notice him until they were lowering her into the ground. Beth held herself together through the service and the burial but as they piled into Hershel’s car to head to the wake, she saw the groundsmen covering her mother’s coffin and something inside of her broke. She kicked off her black high heels and ran barefoot to the patch of earth they had left her Momma in.  
‘Nooo’ she cried, it came from deep inside her, the place she could feel breaking. Before anyone else could reach her, there was Daryl, on the ground behind her, his arms wrapped around her.  
‘’s’ok Beth, I got yer’ he whispered ‘’s’ok’ over and over as he rocked her in his arms and she collapsed against him.  
Shawn came over and approached them.  
‘Come on Beth, we need you to pull it together, everyone’s headed back to the house, people want to see us.’  
She looked up at her brother but couldn’t speak.  
Daryl nodded at him ‘I think she might need a little time. I’ll bring her up once she’s finished here’  
Shawn nodded and headed back to the car, leaving Beth to sob in Daryl’s arms.  
Eventually her breathing evened and she pulled herself from his grasp.  
‘Yer like some kind of guardian angel Daryl Dixon, showin’ up when I need yer’  
He cringed ‘aint nobody ever called me an angel before’ he said gently.  
The grounds crew had continued to work throughout Beth’s meltdown and by now her mother’s grave was a mound of dirt.  
‘Anything else you want to say to her?’ he asked softly.  
She knelt to the ground and pressed her lips against the dirt, kissing it gently and whispering ‘I love you.’  
He guided her back to his car then dropped her at the farm.  
‘Come in with me?’ she asked but he declined.  
‘Nobody wants a Dixon there’ he said matter of factly and drove off.  
For the few weeks that followed Beth hardly left the house. Maggie was staying with them to help out in the initial aftershock, her new boyfriend Glenn had flown in too. Shawn spent most of his time anywhere but there. He often came home drunk or stoned and everyone looked the other way. Eventually Hershel went back to work and she went back for her final semester of high school.

   


That first day back was overwhelming. People that never spoke to her before suddenly wanted to hold her hand, hug her, offer condolences. Jimmy became completely overbearing. By fourth period English Beth was exhausted and frustrated. She walked into the room and Mrs. Link’s well intended ‘How are you holding up?’ set her over the edge. Beth turned out of the classroom and headed to the car park, Jimmy trailing after her.  
‘Just leave me the fuck alone’ she called to him without stopping and hopped into her car. She knew exactly where she was headed this time. She was already on the right side of town and within minutes she was at the Dixon cabin. She recognized Daryl’s old truck and another beat up one next to it. She sat there in a car for a moment, contemplating what to do next, did she want to face another Dixon? Before she could make up her mind Daryl appeared at her door.  
‘Y’alright?’ he asked tapping on the glass.  
Beth nodded. She wasn’t in tears, she was too angry to cry.  
She was pissed and she wanted to vent. She needed to talk to someone who wouldn’t treat her like some dumb kid. Daryl hovered awkwardly at the door.  
‘Kinda cold out here’ he said finally ‘can I jump in?’  
Beth nodded as he came around to the passenger seat.  
‘Whose in there?’ she asked nodding towards the house.  
‘M’brother, Merle’  
‘Want to go somewhere?’ she asked.  
He shrugged ‘y’alright to drive?’  
She nodded.  
‘Keep drivin’ straight then’ he said.  
The dirt road continued but Beth had never been further than the Dixon’s home.  
‘Jus’ follow it a minute’ he said.  
She did until it ran out in what seemed like the middle of nowhere  
‘Know where we are?’ he asked.  
She shook her head. They had to be almost twenty minutes out of town now and in another minute she saw it, an old wooden barn. It hadn’t been used in years and she’d only been out here once before, when she was ten and heard it was haunted.  
‘Oh’ she said.  
‘Better than my driveway’  
She nodded.  
They sat there in silence for a moment before she turned up the radio but they were too far for service.  
She sighed and looked at Daryl.  
‘I thought, I thought I wanted to vent but now it seems kinda stupid’  
He shrugged ‘I’ll listen’  
She shook her head. ‘No I know it’s stupid, I know people were just bein’ kind’.  
A tight smile crossed his lips.  
‘Get a lot of kids wanna ask if yer ok?’  
She nodded. ‘Teachers too’  
The silence resumed for a moment.  
‘This one girl, Mary, her sister died last year an’ I invited her to prayer group so we could pray for her….. no wonder she hates me’  
‘Prayer group?’  
Beth blushed, ‘I used to help lead it. I don’t go anymore though.’  
The silence washed over them again and Beth looked over at Daryl, trying to read him but she couldn’t. His eyes were fixed straight ahead, his expression almost blank.  
‘How old are you?’ she asked suddenly.  
He shrugged ‘It matter?’  
She shook her head ‘Nah, I just realized I hardly know you’  
He nodded but didn’t answer, didn’t comment. Suddenly she felt guilty, she’d literally fallen into his life and then invited herself to stay in it. It suddenly struck her was wildly inappropriate and selfish. The only thing he’d really spoken to her about was his mother otherwise he just listened and let her talk. She knew all the rumours about him but they didn’t seem to match this almost gentlemen that held her when she cried and didn’t mind when she turned up angry, unannounced.  
‘I’m eighteen next week’ she said to break the silence.  
‘Old enough to vote’ he replied, still staring ahead.  
‘Supposed to be an adult when you’re eighteen but I don’t feel like one’  
‘Whats it meant to feel like?’ He asked.  
She shrugged ‘I dunno, like you know what you want from life and who you are…. Not stuck at school with no idea what you wanna do next week let alone next year’.  
‘Guess I’m not much’ve an adult either then’ Daryl replied but there was something light-hearted about his response.  
Beth sighed then tried again ‘So Mr. Dixon, how old are you?’  
He turned to look at her ‘Thirty next year’.  
‘So you’re like eleven years older than me?’ she said slowly and before he could answer she smiled sweetly ‘same as my parents’.  
‘Mine too’ he said quietly.  
Beth blushed ‘I don’t think my Momma used to skip school to turn up and whine to my Dad’ she said.  
‘Ya haven’t whined so much. I think ya just needed to be somewhere else’. That’s all he said but he was right, he was exactly right.  
‘Sometimes I just wanna scream’ she said.  
‘Then do it. Nobody can hear ya out here’ he replied as he opened his door. He walked around to the driver side and opened the door for her.  
‘Go on then’ he said.  
She giggled ‘well now I feel silly’.  
‘Aint silly, c’mon’  
Beth breathed in the cool winter air and took several steps away before closing her eyes and opening her mouth. She screamed, she howled. It felt good to let it out and just as she took a breath to go again, she heard the deeper scream of Daryl a few steps away. She walked back over and took his hand in hers before screaming again into the distance.  
They spent the afternoon there, sometimes silent, sometimes talking about nothing at all. It was exactly what she needed, space from the rest of the world. 

‘Can I have your number?’ she asked him as they pulled up back to his cabin.  


‘What for?’ he asked in return.  
She blushed a little ‘So I can call you rather than just turn up on your doorstep’  
He shook his head ‘I like the surprise.’  
‘You didn’t want me here today though’ she pressed.  
‘Yer so we went somewhere else. Y’know where I am if y’need me’ he said getting out of the car.


	2. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this is so much longer than I imagined it, and that's after I cut almost 1,000 words :/   
> I've never written such a long chapter before and yet I still think it feels somewhat rushed. I really want it to be fragments of Beth's memory as she's reflecting back on their relationship but I think it's coming out a bit clunky. Oh well, as they say the story you write down is never as good as the one in your head!

Her father forgot her birthday. Her siblings did too. She wasn’t even that mad about it, it was almost expected and she hardly felt like celebrating anyway. After school Jimmy wanted to take her out for dinner but instead she broke up with him at lunch. He called her a bitch and she didn’t even care. She left after the final bell and headed into the woods. It was just over a week since she’d last seen Daryl Dixon but she couldn’t stop thinking about him, about how warm his hand was when wrapped around hers, about those dark brooding eyes that stared right ahead; and mostly how he was the only person left that she felt she didn’t have to watch herself around. She didn’t have to pretend to be anyone else around him and today she needed that.

She pulled up and noticed only Daryl’s truck nearby, which she took as a good sign. She quickly checked herself in the mirror and tried in vain to smooth her frizzy hair, at least shifting some of it behind her ears and then she sighed to herself, it was time to come to terms with the fact that she had more than a little crush on him and that had more than a little bit to do with why she broke up with Jimmy. She tried to shake that from her mind though, she knew that to Daryl she was just some kid. Approaching the door she took a deep breath to remove that fluttery feeling from her stomach before knocking. The door opened and she gasped at the sight of Daryl with a black eye before she could stop herself.

‘What happened?’ she asked, unable to look away from the dark circle.

‘ ‘Snothing’ he grunted.

‘Who is it then?’ she heard another voice from inside the cabin but Daryl had already closed the door behind him. Without waiting he headed over to Beth’s car and she followed quickly behind. She drove without thinking back to the same old barn.

‘This ok?’ she said when they pulled up.

He grunted which Beth took to mean yes. She left the engine running for the heat but put the brakes on so she could slide her seat back and get comfortable. She turned to face him.

‘You wanna talk bout it?’

‘Yer Birthday?’ he said flatly.

‘Your eye…’ she said, hoping she wasn’t pushing it. That fluttery feeling was back but this time it was something else, for the first time she felt nervous around Daryl Dixon. He was never well groomed but he looked shaggier than ever, almost dirty and that big black eye made him look dangerous. It wasn’t just that. He seemed stiff, subdued. Almost as if he wanted to be alone and yet he hadn’t pushed her away, he’d hopped in her car without a word about it.

‘How bout ya tell me why yer here on yer birthday first’ he countered.

She sighed ‘I just wanted to see you’.

He didn’t respond so she continued.

‘Everyone forgot my birthday, except Jimmy but then I broke up with him and I just wanted…. Wanted to be somewhere else’ she said cringing as she spoke. It sounded so silly when she said it out loud.

‘So when ev’rythings goin’ shit in yer life, ya come’n find me’ he said and although his words were almost gruff, his tone wasn’t. It was like he was thinking out loud trying to make sense of it himself.

She nodded but then stopped and paused ‘I just wanted to see you.’ She said again because that was the simple truth of it.  

He scoffed ‘aint ever had someone wanna see me before, ‘specially not when they’re sad or mad like when ya show up.’

‘Well round you I don’t have to watch what I say, or be perky or grieving or anything else. I can just be’ she explained.

‘And ya can’t do that alone?’

‘It’s not the same.’ She said.

Finally he shifted in his seat to face her, reclining his chair back the way she had.

‘Why not?’

She felt the heat rise to her cheeks but didn’t stop herself from saying ‘’cause then you’re not there.’

He nodded but his face seemed to soften and the wild look left his eyes, even if the bruising didn’t.

‘I didn’ forget yer birthday’ he said quietly, ‘jus didn know what to….’ His voice trailed off so Beth spoke  ‘ya don’t have to do anything, just hang out with me, that’s enough’.

It began to rain outside which made Beth grin, she loved the rain. She studied his face and found he wouldn’t meet her eyes, kept them away from her, almost downward. He seemed shy and she thought again what a mystery he was, with his bad reputation yet his kind nature. She knew all about the Dixon’s but she couldn’t believe any of that applied to Daryl, not when he was so quiet and patient with her and almost bashful. She wanted to get to know him, really know him.

‘Did you do anything special for your eighteenth birthday?’ she asked, it seemed like a simple enough question.

‘Got drunk on moonshine and spent the night in there’ he said, nodding towards the barn.

‘So no then’ she replied with a smirk.

‘Better than others, at least I can remember that one’ he said then added ‘better than this, you gonna remember this as the day you went parkin’ with some redneck ‘

‘I’ll remember that I spent an awesome rainstorm in my car with someone who was really nice to me’ she countered then reached for his hand. They didn’t talk again for a while, just stayed like that until the rain cleared and she dropped him home.

He occupied her mind for days after that. She wanted to see him again but didn’t want to get in his way and as sweet as he always was to her, she couldn’t shake the feeling she was somehow in the way- that she should learn to leave him alone. So she did for a few weeks, right up until she had a big fight with Shawn. She caught him smoking pot behind the stables and confronted him about it. He screamed at her for not noticing him or their father, for still being the baby everyone had to pander too. She normally loved her brother but in that moment, she hated him. So she ran away, again to a broken down cabin where it was easy to forget about everything happening on the Greene farm.

 

The weather had begun to warm, the days stretching longer and it was right on dusk when she reached him, sitting on the front steps again, smoking and staring into the distance. Her pulse quickened at the sight of him. She sat next to him without saying a word and waited until he finished his cigarette. She hated smoking, always had, but she liked the smell and all the more so now that she associated it with him. She closed her eyes a moment and took in the smell of him and the smoke.

‘So whats wrong this time?’ he asked her.

‘Missed you’ she said, playfully elbowing him in the side.

‘and I had a fight with Shawn’ she added.

‘cuz he’s using?’ Asked Daryl.

‘I found him smoking pot… does that count?’

‘Well he was round here few weeks back lookin’ for more than that’ he said.

She inhaled sharply. She almost didn’t want to ask any more questions, all this time she’d been trying to separate the Daryl she was starting to know to the reputation and rumours that surrounded him. She didn’t want that to fall apart.

‘Caught Merle before he sold to him, stopped it’ he said quietly, ‘told that brother of yours to stay the fuck away from that shit’

Relief washed over her, this she could handle, Daryl once again looking out for the Greenes.  

‘Now Merle aint speakin’ to me so ‘is back in town stayin’ with some broad’ Daryl continued ‘an my old man got pissed at us for fightin’ so he joined in an headed to town to get drunk, broke parole so now ‘is back behind bars.’

‘Wait, what?’ Beth turned to look at him, ‘your fathers in prison?’

He shrugged. ‘Better off in there’ he said.

She started to connect the dots ‘he hit you that time?’ she said, reaching her hand out to stroke his face, just under his eye where the bruising had faded.

Daryl nodded then looked away, brushing her fingers off and Beth felt small and stupid for running to him about a fight with her brother over weed, while his father was in prison and his brother had been selling god-knows-what.

‘I’m sorry’ she whispered.

‘Sorry I told ya’ he said in the same hushed tone, ‘didn’t mean ta’

‘It’s ok, I’m glad ya did’ she said.

They didn’t speak for a while and he lit up another cigarette. Her head was spinning trying to figure out what to say, how to respond to what he’d just said. The night was begging to cool and she couldn’t help but to shift slightly closer to him, sometimes words failed and just being there was enough, she hoped that was the case right now. He didn’t acknowledge the closed gap between them at first but eventually he place his arm around her, lightly, as though worried she’d pull away. She leaned into him and placed he head on his shoulder. She’d been close to him before, he’d carried her, held her as she cried, but it wasn’t like this. Something about this felt different, like she was desperate to feel closer to him, like she needed to be there, in his arms. Her heart was pounding. He stamped out the butt of the cigarette and Beth noticed it had grown dark around them.

‘So ya busted yer brother then what?’ Daryl asked her.

‘We had a fight’ she sighed, ‘its kinda stupid’

‘It upset you?’ he asked.

‘Kinda’ she confessed.

‘Then it’s not stupid’

Very slowly his hand began stroking her back, gently so at first she hardly noticed.

‘He just called me out on a bunch of crap, he’s angrybout Daddy’s drinkin’ again, told me how it was when Momma died… it’s just… he made me feel guilty and mad. I’m so pissed at him, he should’ve come to me, or someone, I dunno.’

Daryl remained silent. This, Beth realised was his true strength. He listened like nobody she’d ever met before. He didn’t talk unless he had to, he just let her speak and never implied her problems or worries were anything less than what she made of them. His hand continued to run up and down the length of her back, with slightly more force now, like he was no longer afraid she’d pull away.

‘I guess… I guess we’re all dealing with it in different ways. Maggie moved in with her boyfriend and didn’t tell us, Daddy’s been drinking, Shawn’s pissed and smoking and I think drinkin’ too and then I’m just…. Just me’ she sighed ‘and it feels like without her everything’s falling apart.’

He made a small noise so she’d know he was listening then she continued

‘I mean, that’s dramatic, the worlds still moving you know, just… it feels different. We’ve always been a close family and now we’re drifting apart and I’m part of that because I don’t want to be near them’. She stopped talking and closed her eyes a moment, Daryl was still stroking her back and it was the nicest thing she’d felt in a long time. It took the sting out of what was happening.  So she stopped talking and enjoyed it. His hand dropped to the bottom of her shirt and slowly, cautiously he slipped his hand under it then ran his hand again up her back. At the sensation of his hand on her skin she couldn’t help but let out a small moan. Her heart began to race, something was changing between them, she could feel it. It went on like that for a moment, his hand tracing her spine and ribs, roaming all over her skin before she couldn’t take it anymore, she turned her head to kiss him. Her lips met his, warmer than she’d expected before his mouth opened slowly, accepting her. It started off slow and gentle but within moments that need that she felt to be closer to him took over, he tightened his grip on her, they were both hungry, desperate for each other. She shifted slightly, intending to reposition herself at a better angle when he suddenly broke away.

‘Shit’ he said, pulling his hands off her. ‘Beth, ‘m, ‘m sorry.’

‘What for?’ she asked, moving back now so there was some space between them again.

‘Yer, fuck, yer in high school’ he said, the tone in his voice changed, he sounded angry now.

‘I kissed you’ she said slowly. She was blushing now, no longer flushed from their contact but embarrassed, had she read everything all wrong? He’d definitely seemed like that’s what he wanted.

‘Ya, just leave Beth. It aint right.’

‘I’m eighteen. In a few weeks time I won’t  be in school anymore’ she said but her voice wasn’t as steady as she’d hoped. She’d never seen him angry, even when he was clearly pissed at something it had never been directed at her.

‘’m sorry’ he said again ‘just, ya gotta go’ he said and without another word he stood up and went inside, leaving her on the doorstep, her legs trembling now.

 

She lost sleep worrying about him, her final weeks of school dragged on, she fought with her father. She poured his liquor down the sink but he always bought more. She called her sister and begged her to come home but she couldn’t, or wouldn’t, Beth wasn’t sure. She hardly ever saw Shawn. They both apologised for their fight but things still weren’t right between them. She felt completely isolated from everyone. She’d stopped talking to almost everyone at school, which wasn’t hard given she’d never had a lot of friends anyway and lost most of them when she walked out of Prayer Group and broke up with Jimmy. She’d always been quiet, never cared for their teenage antics and in the last few weeks of her schooling they grated on her even more so than normal. She tried to push Daryl from her mind but she couldn’t. She drove part way to his place one night but turned back, she was still embarrassed about last time. So she brooded and withdrew into herself a little. She spent her nights reading, one of the only students still paying attention so close to the end of school, which is exactly what she was doing when she got the call from her brother, asking her to come and pick him up from the Police Station.

She flew down there immediately and was told to wait in a faded lobby. She perched on the green plastic seats, nervously waiting for news about Shawn when Daryl walked in. If he saw her he didn’t acknowledge her, heading straight to the counter instead and asking about Merle. He was told the same as Beth, to wait. He sat a few seats down from her, keeping his eyes to the ground, he looked, she thought, ashamed.

‘Daryl’ she spoke his name quietly.

He gave a nod.

‘You aint gonna speak to me?’

‘Didn’t think you’d wanna’ he said gruffly.

‘Course I do’ she said. To be honest, this was a complication she didn’t need tonight  but she couldn’t ignore him either.

‘you here for Shawn?’ he asked.

She nodded ‘Yeah, he called a half hour ago.’

‘first time?’

‘I…I hope so’ she said quietly, it hadn’t even occurred to her it might not be ‘first time he’s called me anyway’.

Daryl grunted. ‘You know why he’s here?’

‘Drunk’ she said flatly.

Daryl scoffed ‘yeah drunk and trying to buy off of Merle. That’s why they’ve got ‘im. I’m here to collect his shit. ‘es going to federal’

‘What?’

‘prison’

‘Oh’ Beth didn’t know what else to say. Two out of three Dixon’s in prison, her brother back involved in that. Her leg started to shake.

‘Y’alright?’ he asked her. She nodded slowly. Suddenly the fluorescent lights in the room seemed to bright, too harsh and the radio playing in the corner seemed to be blaring.

‘Beth’ Daryl moved to sit next to her. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on something else. All of a sudden she felt the warmth of his hand covering her own, his coarse fingers circling her palm.

‘I’m ok’ she whispered ‘just got a bit overwhelmed’.

She slowly opened her eyes, the lights were still too bright but she had something else to focus on now, it didn’t seem so unbearable.

‘Shawn just said drunk’ she continued.

Daryl nodded ‘can’t get him for intent to buy, lucky timin’ I guess’.

Beth swallowed then gripped Daryl’s hand tighter, suddenly terrified he’d pull away.

‘You seem so calm’ she said.

He shrugged ‘done this plenty a time before. He only got out a few months back, broke parole. Family tradition’.

Beth nodded and then suddenly she couldn’t help herself, she had to ask.

‘Daryl, you don’t do that, do you?’

‘Not anymore’ he answered. It wasn’t the answer she was hoping for, of course she wanted him to say he was oblivious until recently and he always fought his brother on it but inside she knew that at least some of those rumours had to be true.

‘Not in a real long time, first time he got locked up I walked away from all that, didn’ wanna end up like them’ he said in a low voice.

Beth nodded. He tried to pull his hand away but she wouldn’t let him. He was the only thing familiar in this room and she wanted to anchor herself to him, not matter his past, she wanted to believe in the man he was now.

‘Greene’ the policeman reappeared at the door, with Shawn beside him.

‘Just sign here’ he instructed.

She stood up and took responsibility for her brother then turned to face Daryl.

‘Can I come see you again?’ she asked.

He nodded shortly ‘come see me after you graduate’ he said.

She shot him a small smile before heading to the car, her brother trailing behind her.

 

And so she graduated without much fanfare. She walked the stage, her father managed to turn up looking presentable, Maggie sent flowers that morning and Beth accepted that would have to be enough for now. There was a huge bonfire party that night for the brand new graduates that she’d decided to avoid like the plague. Now that she was officially done with high school she knew exactly where she wanted to go.

 

She arrived at Daryl’s place just before six, only to find the cabin empty. A little deflated she chose to wait on that front step, where she so often found him. She laughed to herself, why did she assume he had nothing better to do but sit and wait for her? Sure, he’d said to come visit after she graduated but he probably didn’t mean that night. Half an hour passed and Beth stood up to stop her legs growing stiff, she was contemplating leaving when she saw him approaching on his bike. She grinned as he came towards her but true to form, his face remained stone cold emotionless. She couldn’t tell if he was happy to see her or pissed off she was there.

‘School finished?’ he asked.

‘Graduated this afternoon’

‘’gratulations’ he muttered.

‘Thanks’ she replied. He headed to the step and sat down and she was unsure whether she should squeeze herself on there with him or not.

‘Ya gonna sit?’ he asked her.

She shrugged ‘I guess’.

She sat on the far edge of the step and Daryl lit up.

She was nervous now, self conscious almost. She didn’t know what to say to him, couldn’t stop thinking about the last time they’d sat on this very step, the way his hands felt on her skin, the way his lips felt on her but how angry he’d been afterwards. After she saw him that night with Shawn, she’d started to understand there was more to it than she thought, that he wasn’t so much angry at her as he was angry it had happened. As though he was mad at himself for letting it happen.

‘Is it weird here without them?’ she finally asked to break the silence.

‘It’s quiet’ he replied ‘I went to see ‘em last weekend.’

‘How was it?’ she asked.

He shrugged and inhaled again. She waited for a further response  but it didn’t come and Beth found herself twisting the chain around her neck, an old nervous habit.

‘Y’allright?’ he asked her.

She nodded ‘Just kinda nervous’ she confessed, feeling the blood rise to her cheeks as she spoke. She buried her face in her hands for a moment before lowering them again to find him smirking slightly. He finished smoking then turned to her.

‘Aint goin’ to that party?’ he asked.

She shook her head

‘Nah just drunk teenagers acting like idiots’ she said.

Her phone vibrated just then and she pulled it from her pocket to see a message from Jimmy. Choosing to ignore it she put it back away without reading it. She turned to face Daryl instead.

‘You ever go inside, or you just hang out on the step?’

‘Insides a shithole’ he said bluntly.

‘Fair enough’ she replied.

An awkward silence resumed and Beth felt herself get fidgety, she didn’t know what to say, how to act and she sense Daryl felt the same way. He was hard to read but he was tapping his foot rhythmically into the dirt. Finally she turned to him.

‘I’m not sorry I kissed you’ she said.

‘OK’ he said.

‘You still mad at me?’ she questioned.

‘wasn’t mad at you’ he said.

‘So we’re ok then?’ she asked.

‘sure’ her replied. Her phone buzzed again but she ignored it. If it was Jimmy, she didn’t want to see it, if it was anyone else, well they’d call eventually.

‘Wanna go on a walk’ she asked Daryl

‘Walk?’

‘I dunno, I don’t wanna just sit there on your doorstep nervous and staring into space’

‘then lets walk’ he said, standing up before she did. He turned behind to offer his hand to her and she couldn’t help but smile at the gesture. She didn’t give him the chance to let go as they headed further into the woods.

‘I’m trusting you to know the way’ she said.

‘We ain’t even off the road’ he said.

‘No but just in case’

Now they were moving everything seemed to go back to normal between them. They didn’t talk a whole lot but the silences were comfortable and when they did he managed more than a one word response. They talked about her plans for the next few years, now she wasn’t leaving for college like she’d hoped and he told her he was trying to find more stable work which kind of surprised her because last time she’d asked what he did he’d been evasive. They walked on until dusk took hold by which point they’d reached the old barn again. Beth leaned sat herself against it to watch the fireflies.

‘I used to think they were so magical’ she said softly.

‘ Course ya did’ he chided sitting next to her.

‘I used to think they worked for the fairy queen’ she continued. He groaned so she stopped talking but after a moment he said ‘carry on’

‘what?’

‘with yer fairy story, ‘m sure theres more’ve it’

So she kept talking, telling him the stories her mother and sister told her as a child and just for a moment losing herself to that magic once again. Eventually the space between them cease to exist and she leant against him as she continued, he placed a hand lightly on her thigh.

‘You gonna get mad if I kiss you? She whispered

He placed his lips on hers by way of response. Just gently and only for a moment then he broke away and stood up.

‘Should probly head bac’ he said, again offering his hand to pull her up.

She dusted the dirt off the back of her jeans, unsure where they stood. Her pulse was racing, she had butterflies in her stomach, she wanted nothing more than to knock him to the ground and pounce on him and yet he was putting up walls, even after he kissed her.

It was completely dark by now aside from a slither of moon. He pointed out the constellations as they made their way through the woods and she was impressed by his knowledge, it felt like he knew the names for every star. They paused yet again for him to point out something else and he placed an arm around her, he didn’t let go even as they continued walking.

Suddenly her phone started to go off again, crazy now with message after message coming through.

‘Must be back in service’ she said. But as it continued she couldn’t ignore it any longer.

‘Everything OK?’ asked Daryl after watching her flick through her messages for a few moments.

‘No, it…umm its Shawn, he went to that party and his drunk and acting like an idiot… Jimmy was trying to get me to go pick him up… I, I better go’ she started heading off ahead of Daryl who quickly caught up to her.

‘It say when they came through?’ he asked. He phone was still vibrating, at least twenty texts coming though.

‘Shit’ she exclaimed. He left…he….’ Her heart sank He drove off, drunk, Jimmy tried to go after him on foot but couldn’t, he left with Claire, one of her classmates.

Gross she groaned, reading the last message.

‘Can’t do much about it now’  Daryl said as they approached the cabin. Beth was agitated though, the frequency of Jimmy’s messages had annoyed her. It was one thing to let her know Jimmy needed to be picked up but it felt excessive. Daryl walked her to her car and opened the door for her.

‘Yer not gonna go lookin’ for him are ya?’ he asked.

She shook her head ‘I don’t wanna find him and Claire doing….’ She let her voice fade out and pulled a face before shaking her head, trying to shake away the mental image. She didn’t want to think about her brother tonight, she was happy to be back here with Daryl, happy to have the memories of his lips on hers and wanted to try and figure out what that all meant without worrying about him. At that moment her phone rang, she checked the Call ID and saw it was the police station, she cringed before answering.

‘Hello’ she said, expecting a repeat of last time.

‘I’m looking for Beth Greene?’ a female voice came through.

‘Speaking’ she said. Daryl was still there beside her and she reached out to grab his hand.

‘Beth, this is Constable O’Kelly, we’re at your listed address right now looking for you or Hershel Greene but there’s no answer’

‘I’m out at the moment sorry’ she spoke carefully, her palms starting to sweat, something wasn’t right, she could just tell.

‘My, my father should be there though’ her voice started to crack, she could hear the panic in it.

‘Sorry, why are you looking for us?’

‘We need to speak to a next of kin for Shawn Greene. We’ve got details for both of you but he isn’t answering his phone’.

‘No Daddy sometimes works late’ Beth said, panic really starting to set in ‘is everything OK?’

‘Beth, are you alone right now?’

She shook her head then realised that didn’t help ‘no I’m with a friend’ she said softly.

‘Ok honey, we’re going to wait here in case your Daddy comes home, do you think you could head on home and bring your friend with you?’ Beth nodded, tears welling in her eyes. The Police didn’t call you honey when they wanted to question you, this was bed news and she knew it.

She looked up at Daryl ‘Can you drive me home?’

They were silent the whole time, she closed her eyes and prayed to whoever was listening that it was a mistake, that Shawn had a broken leg and they were just really concerned about it.

By the time they reached the Greene family farm Daryl had to almost carry her out of the car. He placed an arm on the small of her back as he guided her to the front porch where two police women sat, sombre on the wicker chairs.

‘Shit’ he breathed under his breath.

‘Beth Greene?’ they asked as she approached. She nodded softly but she felt like she was a million miles away. Like her body was left to stand in for her while she circled above it.

‘Honey, why don’t you sit down here a minute?’ they said, gesturing to the empty rocking chair. Daryl lead her to sit then stood behind her, his hands on her shoulders.

‘Beth, Shawn was in a collision tonight, his car ran headfirst into a traffic light on Main Street’ the Police woman said softly.

‘He died on impact’

‘Was he alone?’ Beth heard her voice but it didn’t feel like it belonged to her any more.

The other lady spoke ‘No, he had a passenger, she’s being treated for minor injury’ she said.

They looked up at Daryl ‘Any idea where Hershel is?’

Daryl shook his head ‘I don’t think he’s been working much since his wife….’ His voice faded off

‘He sleeps in the barn’ Beth said, ‘he sleeps in the loft in the barn after he drinks’

The night was a blur after that. Beth stayed on that rocking chair for either five minutes or five hours, she couldn’t say for sure, all she knew was Daryl never left her side.

Not that night and not for the days that followed, until Maggie and Glenn flew in to organise the funeral and Maggie told Daryl in no uncertain terms to stay away from her little sister. Beth protested but her sisters venom was too much and Daryl headed away.

‘Don’t make her mad’ he whispered as he got in the car ‘You gotta be with family now.’ he said before driving away. Days blended into one and soon enough Beth found herself face down in the dirt of her brothers grave. Her father was almost catatonic by the end of the service and Maggie was bossing everyone around, the only way she knew how to cope. Beth found that just like she couldn’t stand the sight of her mother’s coffin being covered, she couldn’t  bear to lose Shawn. She sat beside it howling as Maggie placed a firm hand on her shoulder and said ‘It’s time to leave’ in a stern voice. Beth nudged her sisters hand away and looked up through the crowd to see Daryl coming forward.

‘I’ll stay with her’ he said.

Maggie’s nostrils flared ‘Didn’t I tell you to stay away’.

‘N I did, but I’m not leavin’ ‘er ‘ere like this’ he said, kneeling already to Beth’s level.

‘Maggie, just leave it’ Glenn said softly, urging his wife to follow him away.

Beth’s tears continued to roll down her cheeks as the earth was piled onto her brothers coffin, just next to where her Momma’s grave was.

‘I’m sorry’ she sobbed over and over. Daryl didn’t say a thing, he just held her until it was done. She kissed the ground and he helped her to her feet then ran a coarse thumb over her soft lips to wipe the dirt away.

‘gonna drop ya at the farm’ he said quietly ‘come see me in a couple a days. If I don’t see ya by the end’ve the week, I’ll come lookin’ he said as he guided her back to the car.

‘Can’t I just have your number?’ she said and he nodded, accepting her phone and punching it. ‘don’t text much n I don’t like chattin’ on it’ he said ‘but now it’s there if ya need me’.

He dropped her at the farm and when she reached the door she turned back and noticed he was still there, watching. Her heart was aching and she wanted him nearby, wanted him to help take the edge of this feeling. She waved slowly and wiped her eyes before heading inside, game face on and ready to hear everyone talk about what a good boy her brother had been.

 

She crawled into bed that night late, after helping her sister scrub every last inch of the kitchen. Glenn had taken Hershel to bed and then spoken to Maggie in hushed whispers while Beth kept cleaning. It’s what the Greene women always did when they didn’t know what else to do. Finally she’d kissed Maggie and Glenn goodnight before heading up to her own room and now found she couldn’t sleep. She remembered nights like this after her Momma died, when the pain seemed so raw you couldn’t do anything to ignore it so she gave in and cried into her pillow.

She found herself repeating the same routing night after night, felt as though she was reliving her Momma’s death all over and the pain of losing Shawn was tacked onto that. The days were unbearably long. She tried everything short of physically fighting her father to keep  him away from the booze but it was no use. It was clear he had a serious drinking problem again. Maggie kept grilling her about Hershel, about Shawn. She wanted to know everything that had gone on and eventually  Beth found herself replying ‘If you were that worried, you would’ve come home. I was in high school Maggie’ before walking out of the kitchen, slamming the door behind her. True to form, her sister had to have the last word and followed her out onto the porch screaming ‘Yeah well you weren’t too busy or too young to stop yourself from hookin’ up with Daryl Dixon were you?’.

By the time she arrived at Daryl’s cabin she was almost shaking from anger. She’d always fought with Maggie but this one had shaken her to her core. Beth knew for the rest of her life she’d feel somehow guilty for her brother’s death. She knew their family was in trouble and she didn’t know what to do to stop it. She considered that she shouldn’t have left but she could never speak to Maggie the way she spoke to her and she knew she was better to leave now than unleash exactly what she wanted to say about her older sister. She shut off the engine and looked up to see Daryl opening the door. She didn’t hesitate to run to him. She threw herself into his arms that gladly received her as she buried herself into his chest. He lowered his chin to place a soft kiss on her forehead before making soothing sounds she’d forgotten he could make, that sounded almost unnatural from a man as gruff and blunt as Daryl could be. Eventually she pulled herself away from him and realised how dark it was. Maggie had started her interrogation after dinner tonight but Beth had no idea how much time had lapsed.

‘Can I stay here tonight?’ her question was almost a whisper because she had no idea how he’d reply and was almost surprised she’d said it out loud but as soon as she did, it felt right. She didn’t want to spend another night in her room alone. She needed to be with someone in those hours and she knew that someone had to be him.

‘If that’s what’ya want’ he said.

She nodded.

‘I want to be with you’ she said and realised as she said it exactly how true it was. She wanted to be with him, not just tonight, not just because she was sad or mad or grieving or any other excuse she’d made to visit him. This past year, it always came back to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I felt like it was maybe starting to defy plausibility with both Daddy Dixon and Merle in prison and Shawn dead as well but I really felt like they both needed to be in a somewhat vulnerable place to really start connecting... kind of as it happened on the show which is once they're both kind of on their own....Hope it came out ok!


	3. Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth leans on Daryl as she copes with the fallout of her brothers death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh, I had every intention of finishing this story in 3 parts, which became 4 and now I'm saying 5. Honestly I could have made this and the next another super long chapter but I feel they'll work better split up. I've just finished university for the year so plenty of time to get this finished now! 
> 
> Also, one day I'll learn how to write a sex scene. Until that time... let your imagination run wild ;)

She’d fallen asleep in his arms, yet she awoke on the squeaky old futon alone, and it took her a moment to remember where she was. Looking around in the daylight she saw just how run down Daryl’s home really was; peeling paint and marked walls, mismatched furniture in various states of disrepair. Everything seemed dusty, grimey and a little sad. She pulled the blankets tighter around her and was about to call out to Daryl when he reappeared at the door, coming from a small bedroom off the main living area.

‘Mornin’’ he mumbled.

Beth sat up and tried in vain to smooth her hair. She knew it shouldn’t matter, not after he’d seen her face puffy from crying so many times, but still, she wanted to look her best for him- and if not her best, then at least presentable. 

‘Headin’ out for a smoke’ Daryl said to her, ‘you right there?’

She stood up, shaking out her stiff legs. Staying here might have been better than sleeping alone but it wasn’t an all together comfortable night’s sleep and everything lightly ached now.

‘I’ll come out with you’ she said stretching out her arms and causing her shoulder to crack in the process. He winced at the noise and she apologised with a grin ‘Sorry, can’t help it’.

‘feelin’ any better?’ he asked as they headed out the door.

She shrugged ‘a little. I’m glad I was here, I’m tired of bein’ on my own. I thought I was kinda stronger than this but it all just feels like a little too much right now’ she said perching herself on the step as he lit up.

‘Yer strong’ he said ‘ya aint like yer pops and yer brother drinkin’ yer problems away, not like yer sister avoidin’ everyone. Not many girls round here lose their Momma senior year and still finish highschool’ he spoke looking straight ahead as always, like he was too afraid to look her in the face as he spoke.

‘Thanks’ she said. ‘Now I just gotta psych myself up to go home and face Maggie’.

‘I know she’s yer sister but she’s a fuckin’ bitch’ Daryl said.

Beth nodded knowingly.

‘Y’know I came back to see ya, in the hospital. Ya’d been asking for Sour Patch Kids the night before but the vending machines was out so I got a big bag and bought ‘em in for ya. Wanted to see how ya was doin’. She wouldn’t let me in. Told me it was real nice I took ya there then drove ‘em both home but it’s probably best I stay away’

Beth sighed ‘sounds like her’ she admitted.

‘She threw up in my truck’ Daryl said. I had to almost carry her to yer porch.’

‘Sorry’.

Daryl shrugged ‘Family is family, ye can’t help ‘em’.

 

She was fuming now though. Maggie had no right to decide who she could and couldn’t see. She knew her sister hated the Dixons. Of course she did, because everyone else in town did; but Daryl was different and Maggie couldn’t look past her own nose to see it. Beth headed back to the farm ready to face her sister. Maggie loved nothing more than a big blow up shouting match, she was a true drama queen which had never been Beth’s style. She was the placid one of the two and she always held her tongue, she stayed calm when Maggie couldn’t, and she knew how much that infuriated her sister. So she took a deep breath as she approached the house and saw Maggie sitting on the old rocking chair.

‘Welcome back’ Maggie said, although her tone was not entirely welcoming.

Beth sat on the loveseat next to her sister.

‘How’s Daddy?’ she asked.

Maggie shrugged ‘drunk last night, not awake yet’ she turned to look at Beth.

‘You sleeping with him?’ she asked in an accusing tone.

Beth shook her head ‘Not that it’s any of your business but No.’

‘Good. Don’t let him get you pregnant’

‘Maggie’ Beth’s voice had a warning tone.

They sat there in silence for a moment before Maggie started again.

‘You know when I heard Shawn was high as a kite when he died, I just assumed he got it from one of the Dixons’ Maggie started ‘but I asked Patricia and she said that Will and Merle are both in prison, so that only leaves Daryl’.

‘wasn’t him’ Beth said coolly.

‘You sure about that?’

Beth nodded ‘Shawn tried to buy off Merle a few months back and Daryl stopped him, then their Daddy hit him over it.’

‘So he stopped him once, what about the next time?’

‘Daryl’s not like them, not anymore anyway, he aint gonna end up in prison like them. He’s better than that’.

‘God Beth, you’re so naïve’ Maggie spat, her voice rising in volume.

Beth turned to face her sister ‘No Maggie, I know him, he had nothin’ to do with Shawn’s death, that was on Shawn. I’m more to blame than Daryl is. I’m his sister y’know and I knew he wasn’t right and you did too and we didn’t stop him Maggie. So blame us if you gotta blame anyone, blame Shawn for making stupid, reckless decisions but don’t blame Daryl.’

‘You don’t think datin’ Daryl Dixon isn’t just a bit reckless?’ Maggie asked.

Beth sighed ‘we aren’t dating, but even if we were, he’s not what you think.’

Maggie rolled her eyes and Beth felt she was gearing up for round two when Glenn appeared suddenly at the door.

‘Hi Beth’ he said as he leaned on the doorframe then sank to sit against it.

‘I just had to help Hershel to the bathroom, he woke up and couldn’t walk straight. I gave him some asprin and put him back to bed’ Glenn sighed deeply then continued, looking at Maggie as he spoke ‘I think he needs help, real help.’

Maggie nodded ‘I know, we’re gonna have to work out a routine and we’ll come visit more often. Beth can...’

‘Beth can’t look after him all the time Maggie’ Glenn cut her off, ‘and we can’t move here. He needs proper medical help.’

‘He fixed himself last time, he can do it again’.

Glenn sighed and took his girlfriend’s hand, ‘He was a younger man then Maggie, and he had two small children than needed him. He hasn’t got that now, he’s lost more. I think he needs rehab. He needs to get sober and get counselling. He can’t go on like this; we can’t leave Beth here with him like this.’

‘Dr. James spoke to me about it a few weeks back’ Beth confessed finally.

‘What?’ Maggie’s sharp eyes few to meet her sisters.

‘I told you, he spoke to me about Daddy, came to see how he was doing and, of course, he was drunk. He told me and Shawn about this place but it’s real expensive and Daddy heard us talking and said no way. I didn’t think it was that bad then but since Shawn…’

The morning wore on and finally Glenn and Beth were able to make Maggie see where they were coming from. The three of them spent a day sorting everything out before confronting Hershel, who reluctantly agreed to go to inpatient centre two towns over. Nobody said out loud, but the money was there now, Shawn’s savings could cover it.

They dropped Hershel off a few days later, both girls crying as they left him in that place, Glenn assuring both of them they’d made the right choice. In the car Maggie turned her attention back to her sister. ‘Beth, Glenn and I were talking. We’d like you to come back to Michigan with us, least for a little while.’

‘I couldn’t leave Daddy here on his own’ Beth said.

‘But you can only see him once a week anyway, at least for the first bit’ Maggie pushed ‘and it’s an awful big house for you on your own.’

Beth looked out the window. It wasn’t just her father. She couldn’t tell Maggie that she’d spent the last two nights on the phone to Daryl, falling asleep talking to him. She couldn’t go to Michigan when he was still here.

‘I’ll be fine, I wanna be here for Daddy’ Beth said again.

‘And Daryl Dixon’s got nothing to do with this?’

‘Maggie’ Glenn warned.

‘No. I’m not sitting here saying nothing while my teenager sister is hanging around with some trailer trash redneck whose twice her age.’

‘He’s not.’ Beth replied, ‘He’s not twice my age, he’s eleven years older, same as Momma and Daddy.’

‘That man is nothing like Daddy’.

‘You don’t even know him Maggie. He’s been there for me, from the moment I broke my ankle. He’s loyal and kind and yeah he’s a bit rough around the edges because he’s had a shit life but he aint what you think he is.’

Maggie groaned and looked at Glenn, ‘You’ve seen him’ she said.

He nodded but didn’t comment.

‘Well’ she pressed ‘You’ve seen the way he looks at her, I told you all about his family, how he used to sell moonshine to all my friends when we were sixteen. I don’t want Beth hanging around him.’

Glenn pulled into the driveway of the farm and sighed ‘Maggie, Beth’s not a little kid, she’s sensible, she says Daryl’s not like his family then we’ve gotta believe her, trust her to make the right choices. From what I’ve seen, he cares about her, so let it go’.

Maggie turned back to face her sister ‘You still on birth control for your skin?’

Beth’s cheeks burned ‘yeah’ she said slowly, this was not a conversation she wanted to have with her sister, especially not with Glenn in the car.

‘Good’ Maggie said ‘because I still don’t trust him. But I guess Glenn’s right, you’re not a child, you can make your own mistakes’

‘not what I was saying’ Glenn cut in but Maggie spoke over him ‘just make sure there’s no reason to make it permanent’ .

Beth sighed and got out of the car, years of fighting with her sister told her this was as close to an understanding as they were going to reach. The following morning Beth drove them to the airport; and was honestly sad to see them go. No matter their differences, Maggie was her sister and the only sibling she had left. She hugged Glenn tightly before he left, he was starting to feel like family too and she really appreciated him believing in her. She kissed her sister and hopped back in the car. She knew she wasn’t heading home, not to the farm. She couldn’t face it on her own tonight. She drove straight back to the cabin in the woods.

She knew Daryl was at work, unloading stock at the back of a hardware store so she waited outside for him outside. It was a warm summers evening, the kind that made you want to stay outside as long as you could so she spread out an old picnic rug she kept in her car and played music from her phone , singing along a little. She hadn’t felt much like singing lately but tonight she felt somehow lighter. Shawn was gone and there was no use worrying about him anymore. Her Daddy was being taken care of, better than she could; and now she’d said goodbye to Maggie she was ready to move on with life, like starting afresh all over again. About an hour passed by before he arrived home, not looking even slightly surprised to find her there.

‘thought I might find ya ‘ere’ he said standing over her.

‘that alright?’ she asked.

He nodded as she shut off her music, unsure what do next. She didn’t have to wonder for long, he lay down next to her, on his back, looking up at the sky.

‘Full moon’ he muttered. Beth had been on her stomach so she rolled over to her back, closing the gap between them as she went.

‘Sends out all the crazies’ she replied looking up at it.

‘Guess that’s why yer ‘ere then’ he said.

‘Nah I sent the crazy in my family back to Michigan tonight’. Daryl smirked at that and reached for her hand, she linked her fingers through his.

‘Ya doin’ Ok?’ he answered.

She nodded then spoke softly ‘I don’t wanna think about them right now. I feel like I’m always here just crying or whining or venting or something, it’s not me, y’know I’m normally a little more optimistic, happy even… not this angry sad sack you’ve had to deal with’

‘yer fine’ he said gently but she continued.

‘I just wanna be me again, even if that’s changed a little, I wanna stop being this total mess who breaks down all the time’ she said.

‘yer not a mess Beth’ he said.

They lay there silent for a moment and she was aware of his thumb running small circles over her hand where they lay clasped together.

Finally she sighed ‘I kinda feel like one’

‘Yer perfect’ he whispered.

 ‘oh’ was all she could reply. They didn’t need to speak another word, it was like whatever barrier had been between them had finally broken down as they rolled in to each other and their lips met, gently at first, both of them a little hesitant.  Beth was waiting for him to pull away at any moment, as he’d done so many time before but this time it was different. Completely different.  He placed a hand on her hip, pulling her in closer to him as their kiss deepened. Their mouths opened wider, slowly becoming more comfortable and then more desperate.

When he pulled away this time it was to whisper simply ‘wanna head inside?’

She nodded shyly before standing up and following him into the cabin. For a moment she hesitated, wondering if she’d once again read the moment wrong but he took her hand and then kissed her again, pushing her up against the wall. She sighed into him, she could feel every inch of his body pressed against hers right now but it still wasn’t enough. She wanted more. She wanted him and all of a sudden it felt as though everything that had happened between them since the night she broke her ankle had lead to this moment. She kissed him back and reached for his hand, guiding it back to her hips, placing it under the loose cotton of her t-shirt. The touch of his hand on her bare skin made her moan slightly and before she thought it through she pulled her shirt straight off, momentarily breaking the kiss. They didn’t speak, they didn’t have to but they somehow moved back to that futon, pushing aside the blankets until she was lying beneath him. He gave her a questioning look and that was all that it took, the rest of their clothes came off and she knew there was no going back now.

This time, she didn’t wake up alone. She opened her eyes only to be met with his and she couldn’t help but smile. Looking at him she could almost forget their surrounds.

‘Ya sleep ok?’ he asked.

She nodded, still smiling. It was the best she’d felt in a long time. She shuffled over closer to him, it was warm but not unbearably so and all she wanted was to feel close to him. She fit in the crook of his arm as though his body had been made just for this, to accommodate her. Her smile widened, suddenly everything felt perfect.

‘What’ya thinkin’ bout?’ he asked before gently pressing his lips against her forehead.

She paused for a moment, she didn’t want to scare him off with anything sappy. They’d danced around this for so long that she didn’t want to ruin this perfect morning.

‘Painting’ she finally replied.

‘Paintin?’ he queried.

She nodded ‘Yeah, this place, I look around it and all I see is them, not you.’

He made a soft grunting noise that Beth was unsure how to interpret so she kept talking.

‘and I was thinking how we should repaint it, maybe fix it up in other ways too… replace that torn curtain and stuff’

‘never really noticed it before’ Daryl said finally, then added ‘aint never really had the means to worry bout it anyway’

Beth cringed internally, she hadn’t meant to embarrass him she’d just been thinking how it wouldn’t take much to make this place look more like a home than somewhere you slept.

‘Does look kinda shit now ya mention it’ he said, turning to bury his face closer to hers.

‘Not shit’ she replied ‘just… you deserve better.’

He smirked and she ignored it then lifted her chin to plan a soft kiss on his cheek. ‘Plus it could be a fun project’

‘Ya really wanna do it?’ he questioned.

She nodded so he shrugged ‘alright then’.

 

The following week he drove her to visit Hershel. She’d tried to convince him that she’d be just fine on her own but he was worried about the drive back.

‘It’s harder than ya realise, leavin’ them behind’ he’d said and she realised he was talking about his own family. It turns out he wasn’t wrong either as she climbed into his passenger seat and broke down in tears. He let her cry for a moment, stroking her back and just waiting. Once her sobbing had subsided into regular crying he started the car and started heading back towards the cabin.

‘Best dry those tears missy, we’ve got work to do.’

She looked up at him confused. ‘Bought some sugar soap home from work, undercoat too, if we’re gonna paint my place, we gotta start somewhere.’

Beth nodded and smiled a little, she hadn’t expected Daryl to show any kind of initiative with this. To her surprise she found the cabin completely re-arranged, ready for them to start. The furniture was pushed into the middle of each room, covered in old tattered sheets, the floor too.

It was the perfect distraction. Growing up on the farm she’d learned there was nothing like hard work to take your mind off your worries and quickly an hour passed as she got to work on the kitchen walls. Daryl had left the radio on so they hadn’t spoken much for the first part but when the news came on he turned it off. The silence seemed too much for a moment so Beth tried to fill it in with idle chatter.

‘Remember I told ya ‘bout that waitressing job? I’m starting week after next and I’m kinda nervous’ she said.

‘How come?’

‘I’ve never had to work for anyone other than Daddy before, and I’m kinda clumsy’

‘yer not too bad, just as long as ya watch where yer walkin’ he said. ‘’sides, aint nobody in this town gonna complain bout ya, even if ya did a terrible job, which you aint, but even if ya did, nobody’d say anything’

She stopped to contemplate that for a moment. ‘Cus everyone feels sorry for me?’ she phrased it like a question but it was more like a statement. She was pretty sure that was the only reason she’d been offered the job anyway. She’d been planning to go to Alabama for college, like her Mama had only her grades had dropped during senior year because she was too busy caring for then mourning her. Her careers counsellor helped her apply for special consideration and finally it was agreed if she completed a year of community college with a good GPA she could head to Alabama the following year. She wasn’t worried about that because she hadn’t wanted to leave Shawn and her Daddy just yet anyway and the way things had turned out, she was more glad than ever that she was staying put in Georgia. But then her English teacher pulled her aside after class and said his brother owned the diner on the outskirts of town and would like to offer her a job during her gap year. She’d known from the very beginning that was nothing but kindness. Yet she’d had no choice but to accept it and thank goodness she had because now her father wasn’t working and her college fund had to cover community college then her four year program, and they had to hire extra help to keep the farm running, well she’d have no choice but to work. She hadn’t really had time to think about it until the past week, with her starting date rapidly approaching and of course, everything had changed again.

Daryl snapped his fingers in front of her eyes and she realised she’d zoned out.

‘Sorry’ she muttered, ‘just thinkin’.’

He nodded and resume scrubbing the skirting board under the large window. ‘Kinda nervous too’ he said quietly.

‘they’ve asked me to go full time at work, gonna pay for my forklift license’

‘that’s great’ she breathed. In the months she’d known him he’d swallowed his pride and taken on any job he could, all on a casual basis. When he got part time at the warehouse it was the first stable employment he’d ever had.

‘jus’ still gettin’ used to havin’ a regular job an’ workin’ fir people that like me’ he said. He wasn’t normally this candid, she’d gotten used to reading between the lines when he spoke.

‘Of course they like you’ she said. Then walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. ‘I like you’ she breathed.

‘kinda got that’ he said, turning around to face her.

‘an you like me right?’ she asked playfully

He nodded

‘but I like like you like you’ she whispered back before leaning in to kiss him again.

‘whatever that means’ he replied, his lips still against hers.

‘means I wanna be with you daryl dixon’ she said, reaching for the hem of his shirt.

‘yeah, I kinda got that too’ he said as she pulled it over his head. He reached back for her straight away.

‘so we’re together then?’ she couldn’t believe how desperately she wanted confirmation.

He nodded as he ducked his head to her neck, kissing a line down to her shoulder, to the strap of her tank top he pulled down.

‘hmm, no good at talkin’ bout this stuff’ he murmured, pulling the rest of her top down too.

‘just show me then’ she breathed, before giving herself to him completely once again.   


	4. Part IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the unexpected break I had to fly home to visit some family and didn't have my laptop with me. 
> 
> This and the chapter before should definitely have just been the one so sorry for splitting them, the previous one was definitely published in a rush once I knew I was leaving. 
> 
> I found this part the hardest to write but it will get me where I need to go for the conclusion which was the main reason I even began this story to begin with! Bare with me, I hope you'll think it was worth it.

For the better part of seven months, they had stayed like that; happy in their little cabin, hidden away from the rest of the world. At least that’s how it often seemed. They worked hard at their jobs, Beth attended class then they came home and they worked. Room by room they repainted, replaced furniture and mended what they could, until the once run down cabin truly looked like a home. They had taken over the largest bedroom, Beth borrowed old linen from the farm and replaced the torn curtains with those from her own bedroom, she hardly slept their anymore. She moved her desk into the smaller other room. He let her choose everything, the carpet, the furniture, what kind of cereal they ate. When it came time to repaint the final part of the cabin, the small hallway that lead to the two bedrooms Beth picked up hot pink poster paint she’d been using on another project and rolled it down her palm before pressing it to the wall. She called Daryl over to do the same.

‘There’ she said triumphantly, ‘now we’ve really left our mark on it’.

‘This whole place has got your mark on it’ he whispered leaning in to kiss her.

Later that night they lay in bed, it was the second Friday of the month and Daryl was due to visit his family the next day.

‘Can I come with you?’ she asked him.

‘Tomorrow?’

‘Hmm’

It was colder again now so she buried her face down into the striped flannel sheets, inching closer towards him to steal any extra warmth she could.

‘Ya can’t come in’ he murmured.

‘I know but it’s a big trip an’ I hate ya goin' on yer own’

‘Ya don’t gotta’

‘I know, I want to’ she said. Truthfully, she always worried about him heading into that prison alone. He always came home angry, distant; twice he was on the verge of drunk. It was the only time she ever saw any of that old Daryl in him. She’d been thinking for a while that maybe if she traveled with him, his whole day wouldn’t be consumed by them.

She rode along and was glad she did, because when visiting hour was over Daryl came out fuming. She could see his red face from the distance and the closer he got to the truck the more wild he looked. He slid into the passenger seat without saying a word so Beth waited but two minutes down the road his driving was too erratic, she had to speak up.

‘Daryl’ she said firmly, ‘pull over.’

He didn’t offer any resistance, pulling off into a side street and parking the car.

‘Wanna talk about it?’ she asked.

Looking at him now she saw the slightest glimmer of mist in his eye, as though he was trying his hardest not to cry.

‘My fuckin’ Dad’ he said. That was all he said for a solid minute.

He took a deep breath, grunted, then started again ‘He got in some kinda fight, I dunno the details, Merle’s not meant to tell me. ‘e’s been moved to max. Couldn’t see ‘im today, cant for the next month at least.’

‘That sucks’ said Beth lamely. She wasn’t sure what to say in a moment like this. Daryl smashed his palm into the steering wheel causing the horn to blast.

‘Why do I even fuckin’ care?’ he began to speak louder now ‘wasn’t there for me, for Merle, didn’t do shit for my Ma. My whole life ‘is been this giant pain in my ass and now I’m fuckin’ worrying about his dumb ass locked up in max when he never gave two shits what happened to me’

He began to sob gently and for once it was Beth’s turn to comfort him.

‘Family is family’ she whispered, pulling him closer to her ‘they get under your skin and you’re stuck loving them no matter what’.

She felt him nod against her chest and she held him there a while longer, glad he was not alone.

 

They marked the anniversary of her mother’s death and then Shawn’s. She took flowers to their graves, he sat and held her hand. Both times Beth was overwhelmed with gratitude that she had someone like Daryl. She knew she couldn’t face moments like these alone.  She could no longer imagine she belonged anywhere on earth but at Daryl’s side.

Which is why she was thrown into such a tail spin when she learned her father was coming home at the end of the month. She wasn’t ready for that. She didn’t want to leave her long cosy nights at the cabin. She was unsure how to help Hershel. He’d still attend sessions at the clinic twice weekly and he’d have a home visit once every two weeks but otherwise life was supposed to go back to normal. Except normal had completely changed now.

She broke down crying talking to Daryl about it, warming up leftovers from the diner for ‘dinner’ at 11pm.

‘It’ll be fine’ he assured her, ‘they wouln’t let him come home if it wasn’t.’

She nodded meekly.

‘an they know yer almost 19 an’ headin’ away to college soon. They think he’s OK to be on his own, not bein’ nursed by ya’.

What Daryl had said was true, the day Beth went to bring Hershel home they had a meeting with his counsellor who stressed that Beth’s job was not to be caregiver, nor was it up to her to police what he drank or did. From now on, that was all up to Hershel.

Beth somehow managed to find a balance. She spent a few nights a week at the farm, with her father. He was a changed man. She was relieved to see him finally sober and his faith in Christ renewed. Even if Beth had fallen away from the church, it had always been so important to him and she took this as a sign he was really healing. However this progress was marred by an obvious physical decline. He was slower to move now and slightly unstable on his feet. He seemed to have aged rapidly, the effects of almost a year of heavy drinking had taken their toll on him. His fine motor skills were shot and he was unable to return to his practice, even on a part time basis. Beth was worried about him constantly, just when she got her father back, it seemed his health was failing.

On Tuesday nights Daryl worked the late shift whilst she was off so they didn’t tend to see each other. This week was different though. Something she’d been stewing on for months suddenly seemed crystal clear in her mind and she wanted to tell him about it. She waited until her father was asleep and drove to the cabin, letting herself in and waiting on the brand new sofa for Daryl to come home.

‘ Not so big on surprises but I like this one’ he said, walking over to greet her with a kiss.

She smiled up at him, ‘I think you’re really gonna like the next one then’ she teased.

‘go on’ he sat next to her, kicking his work boots off as he did so.

‘I’ve been thinkin’ bout next year, and college in Alabama and…’ she paused for dramatic impact ‘I’ve decided not to go’ she beamed at him but her face quickly fell when she noticed his.

‘Don’ be stupid Beth’ his voice was firm and he grew rigid.

For a moment neither of them said anything then finally she started to explain herself.

‘Just doesn’t make sense for me to go there anymore. That was the pipe dream of that teenage girl I used to be, back when I had two parents and a brother and some stupid high school boyfriend I was always going to break up with.  Everything is different now. I’ve got Daddy to look after, y’know he isn’t doing so well and I’ve got you. I can’t leave you.’

She went to place her hand on his thigh but he brushed it aside then shifted to the far corner of the sofa, his face dark.

‘Yer not supposed to be yer Daddy’s nurse Beth. Don’t use him as an excuse to throw yer life away’

She took in a deep breath ‘I wouldn’t be. I’ll finish off a full program at community college, run the books for Daddy, get an admin job if need be. And I’ll get to stay here, with you, both of you.’

‘That’s not what yer want.’ He spoke fast and she could hear the frustreation building in his voice. ‘Yer meant to be a teacher, been tellin’ me ‘bout it for the last two years. Yer gonna graduate from a real school and have a god damn future outside of this town.’

He stood up, clearly agitated by now and kicked the skirting board with his socked foot ‘fuck’ he cursed hopping on it. She stood up to ask if he was alright but he spun around to face her again, the anger clear on his face.

‘Y’need to leave Beth. I’ll talk to ya tomorrow when I’m not so pissed’.

‘Who’re ya pissed at?’ she asked cautiously.

He shook his head ‘don’t matter, just need some space.’

 

On the drive home she replayed the evening over and over in her mind. She’d expected him to be happy. They had been so happy together for months now she just assumed he’d want that to continue for as long as possible, like she did. She tried to call him once she got home but he’d turned his phone off.

He didn’t answer her at all the following day either and she had class to attend then the dinner shift at the diner. She finished her shift at eight and called her father. She was planning on heading straight to Daryl’s, hoping to talk to him face to face but wanted to make sure Hershel was doing OK first.

‘Bethy, I need you to come home’ her father breathed down the phone.

‘everything  alright?’ she began to panic.

‘everythings fine honey, we just need to have a talk’

To her surprise she was greeted on the front porch by both her father and Daryl. Her heart began to pound. She thought of her sister, surely no, she couldn’t lose anyone else, surely.

‘What’s going on?’ she asked.

Hershel smiled at his daughter and gestured for her to take a seat across from the two men.

‘Nothing’s wrong Bethy, not yet. We need to make sure it stays that way.’

She looked up at Daryl but he refused to meet her eye.

‘Honey, Daryl came to speak to me while you were at work and I’m glad he did.’ He patted Daryl on the shoulder for emphasis.

‘he’s worried about you. Told me you’ve been thinking about backing out of your plans for college’

She began to twirl her pony tail around her finger, that old nervous habit she never could break. She nodded at her father.

‘That’s right’ she said, ‘I want to stay here, help look after you.’

He shook his head ‘The best thing you can do for  me is head off to college like you’re supposed to Bethy. I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve done for me these past months and your Momma before that. All we’ve ever wanted it what’s best for you and that’s a good education that will lead to a stable career.’ He turned to look at Daryl again.

‘She’s been talking about being a teacher since she was five years old. I’ve never met anyone more patient than Bethy except maybe her mother, that’s why it makes sense she’d want to follow in her footsteps.’

Daryl nodded and offered a grunt in response.

‘I’ve got a while team of people to look after me Bethy. Daryl’s come here tonight and offered to have dinner with me twice a week, help me keep up with the mowing and anything else around the place and he’ll report back to you so you know I’m alright. Now I don’t know that I’ll need all that much help but I’d appreciate the company. He’s a kind man Beth.’

Beth nodded at her father, he was right. Daryl was kind and wouldn’t hesitate to come and help Hershel. He’d been maintaining the lawns with the ride on mower for the past few months anyway and always stopped for some sweet tea with her father afterwards, ever since he came home. And that just made her all the more convinced she couldn’t leave him.

‘Its not just you Daddy’ she said softly.

‘Speak up sweetie, I can’t hear you’ Hershel spoke.

‘It’s not just you. I don’t want to leave Daryl here either.’

At that, Hershel stood up ‘well that’s between the two of you. But he really cares about you Bethy, anyone can see that and I’m sure nothing would change just because you’re away for part of the year.’

Daryl nodded but Beth shook her head.

 

‘Is that what you want?’ she asked Daryl. He nodded again and she sighed. Beth understood he wasn’t the biggest talker but he’d obviously had a lot to say to her father, the least he could do was spare a few words for her.

Hershel stood up ‘Why don’t I leave you two to sort this out then’ he said, heading to the wooden door. He placed his hand on Daryl’s shoulder again on the way past. ‘Thank you son’ he said before heading in.

She looked up at Daryl who met her eyes now but neither of them spoke for a moment. Finally she broke the silence.

‘Do you want me to go away?’ she asked.

He nodded.

‘You really want me to go to Alabama and live in a dormitory with a bunch of teenagers and come home for the holidays and Summer and that’s it?’ she asked.

He shook his head.

‘Course not Beth. Course I dun want ya that far away. But I’m not lettin’ ya give up on yerself fir me. I’ve been a damn fool.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I should never ‘ave let it get this far. Yer nineteen, ya need to be with people yer own age and pursuing yer dreams, not stuck playin’ house with some dirty old redneck who aint ever gonna be able ta give ya the life ya deserve.’

She stood up and walked over to him but he looked away, he wouldn’t touch her.

‘Ya gotta go to college Beth’ he said.

Tears filled her eyes. Two years ago, she’d have agreed with him entirely. She’d have laughed at the thought of not going to college for a boy. But now, it didn’t feel like he was just some boy. It felt like _he_ was her future. Him, the man who offered to look after her Daddy so she could go away, the man she’d been coming home to for the past seven months, who let her paint a silver feature wall because she wanted to see just how silver it could look. He was the reason life began to make sense again when everything else fell apart around her, how could she possibly leave him behind to pursue a childhood dream?

She knelt down in front of him.

‘I love you’ she whispered ‘we can have a good life without me wasting four years of it. I want to stay here with you. I want to look after my Daddy with you. Is that all you think this has been? Playing house?’ she began to sob.

He reached out and smoothed her hair.

‘I’ll be right here waitin’, when yer home fer the holidays, fuck I’ll even sit at the table with yer crazy sister and sing carols if that’s what ya want.’

She nodded ‘I can’t be away from you for most of the year’ she spoke, so softly he had to strain to hear her.

He got up to leave ‘Think about it fer a day or so, whatever but there ain’t no way I’m gonna be the reason ya don’t go.’

A few days passed but the more she considered leaving, the more absurd it seemed. Despite her father’s pleas and Daryl’s promises, this town was her farm. She belonged on the farm with her father and in the cabin with him.

She told Daryl so on the phone and he hung up so she drove over to see him. She was greeted with two boxes of her things waiting on the front step.

‘Ya can’t make the right decision for yerself then I’m making it for ya’ he spat. His eyes were blood shot and Beth could smell liquor on his breath.

‘How bout I come back when you’re sober?’ she said, taking a backwards step towards her car.

‘Aint gonna change nothin’. We’re done’. He said it flatly, coldly. Her face fell.

‘Yer just actin’ like some stupid lovesick teenager’ he continued, ‘so I’ma make it real easy fer ya and take mtself outta the equation. Ya don’t gotta worry ‘bout leaving some boyfriend behind because ya aint got one’ he said. There was a venom in his voice she’d never heard before.

‘Daryl’ she spoke ‘talk to me, it doesn’t have to be like this’.

‘It does’ he said. ‘Should never ‘ve let this little fling run on this long. Lettin’ ya think we’re some damn romance novel come to life. Pretty little farm girl meets trailer trash.’ He spat on the ground ‘next thing yer drivin’ to fuckin’ prison with me like some lovesick puppy an’ I know the whole time yer too good fer that shit an’ one day yers gonna realise it an’ run far away. Well I’m callin’ it now Beth Greene, want ya outta my life right now.’

‘Daryl, what is goin’ on?’ she asked. She took a step forward toward him but he just held a box up in her face.

‘Take it’ he ordered.

She obliged and placed it in her car. Hoping that he’d calm down in a moment so they could talk rationally.

‘You aren’t trailer trash’ she spoke slowly. ‘I don’t want to go away to school because it just doesn’t feel right any more. I want to be here, where I belong, with you and Daddy.’

‘Yer father don’t need ya. He don’t need another screw up, he already lost yer brother. And ya sure don’t belong here with me, I can tell ya that right now.’ He picked up the remaining box.

‘This isn’t you Daryl’ she spoke but her voice was strained. ‘Yours just being a jerk because you think it’ll scare me into doing what you want. Stop being a dick.’

‘I am a dick. I’m endin’ that now. Ya wanna stay here with yer Pops? Then that’s on ya, but I ain’t bein’ the cause of any bad life decisions you wanna make. We’re done.’

With that he turned around and headed inside. Beth fell to the ground, sobbing, shaking. She cringed thinking of the many times before she’d been like this in front of him. Normally, he rushed to her aid, he held her. This time he stayed away. He’d sunk back inside that cabin and he didn’t come out. Almost an hour passed as she lay there, replaying his words in her head. Finally she stood up and knocked on the door.

‘Fine, I’ll go. If that’s what you want. I’ll go to college and come home every chance I get to see you and maybe you can come and visit me. I’ll go to Alabama Daryl, just please, please don’t be like this.’

He opened the door and she could see he too had been crying. She reached out for him but he rejected her again.

‘aint just bout yer goin to that school Beth. Yer not meant to be with a piece a shit like me. I, I dunno what I was thinkin’, got caught up in it all but its gotta end. Ya gotta go ta college and put me behind ya.’

She shook her head ‘no I don’t’. Lots of people work long distance, wasn’t that the plan? Until all this?’

He shook his head ‘it was but I realise what a fool I’ve been, been wrong to ya. We’re done Beth, just walk away.’ He took a step forward, pushing her back past the door frame.

‘Daryl’, she spoke only his name but he just shook his head.

‘Don’t make it harder than its gotta be Beth’ he said, then shut the door to her.

Three more times she tried to change his mind over the following week. From the other side of the door she cried, pleaded. She apologised for being foolish, for the whole not going to college drama, even though in her mind leaving still felt wrong but he wouldn’t talk to her. She knew he was in the house but he never once acknowledged she was there.

 

Eventually, leaving did feel like the right thing to do. She had to get away from him. She came to trust the nurses that came to check on her father, his outpatient appointments seemed to go well. She never asked who was tending to the paddocks but when she came home from work on a Wednesday night they were always freshly mown. She didn’t want to know either way. Her father was never going to be the man he was again but he could survive without her and her told her over and over again that all he wanted was for Maggie and Glenn to hurry up and get married so he could have some grandbabies and for her to graduate college and become the best teacher she could be. She promised him she would and left Georgia in the fall. She made one last attempt to reach out to Daryl. She turned up at his work, just as he was finishing, her University of Alabama sweater on for emphasis as she did.

‘I’m leavin’ tomorrow’ she said.

He nodded and kept walking past her.

‘I thought we could talk, say goodbye. I know you were only being cruel because you thought it was best for me’ she said but he just kept walking. She followed him all the way to his truck but he kept his eyes straight ahead. Finally, just before getting in the drivers seat he turned to look at her ‘good bye Beth’ he said then closed the door. She stood there crying, pathetic, as he drove off then shook her head. That was it. She had to do what he said, put it all behind her and move on.

And so she did. She didn’t see Daryl Dixon for three years after that. She came home twice a year, stayed the whole summer but made sure they never crossed paths. She tried not to think about him when she wasn’t there and that was easy because classes were hard and she made friends and eventually met Zach, sweet Zach who came from a farming family just like hers, who liked the same cheesy movies she did. Zach who she never even told about Daryl Dixon until they came face to face at her father’s funeral.

 

Hershel’s body had given up, he died to complete renal failure, waiting for a transplant that never came. Beth had been able to fly home and spend his final days with him, Maggie too. Her sister held their fathers hand over her swollen belly so he could feel the baby kick.

‘It’s a girl’ she told him, ‘I’m going to name her Josie, after my Momma’. Her father had smiled at that, the last time she saw him really smile. He passed away surrounded by his daughters and son-in-law, in the knowledge he was so loved.

‘You can’t ask for more than that’ Glenn had said and the sisters had nodded, for once agreeing on something.

The funeral followed a few days afterwards, Zach flew in to be with Beth. He stood with her during the service, held her hand as they lowered Hershel into his grave; but he was unprepared for her reaction. She collapsed to the ground again, she as she had done at her mother and brothers funeral. She began to wail. Zach stood behind her, flustered. He knelt down to place a hand on her shoulder which was when Beth looked up and saw Daryl. Zach must have noticed him too as he sat next to his girlfriend, possessively placing an arm around her shoulder. Daryl was near them now.

‘She Ok?’ he asked, his gruff voice sounded hoarse. He’d clearly been crying tood.

Zach looked him in the eye and nodded ‘she’s fine, thank you’.

Once back in the car to return to the car he asked ‘Who was that man?’

‘Daryl Dixon’ Maggie replied.

‘and he is?’ Zach questioned.

Maggie shook her head ‘just somebody we used to know. Mowed Daddy’s lawns, think he was kind of a charity case, he had him over for dinner once a week.’

At this Beth’s head snapped up.

‘What?’

‘oh you knew he did the maintenance’ Maggie shrugged ‘and of course Daddy paid him. He always had a soft spot for him’ Maggie turned to face Zach ‘surely Beth’s told you about the Dixons? Trailer trash… she’d know’

‘Maggie’ Glenn’s warning voice came from the driver’s seat.

‘The father died in prison last year’ Maggie continued .

‘What?’ Beth repeated herself.

Maggie sighed ‘Don’t you ever read a news paper? Will Dixon was stabbed behind bars, some home made thing, there was a whole fuss about it’

‘I can’t believe nobody told me’ Beth breathed.

‘Sorry, I thought you knew’ Glenn said, indicating to turn onto the farm.

Zach looked around the car then quizzically at Beth.

‘Were you and this Dixon guy like….?’

‘Together, for a while’ Beth said.

Her head was spinning. She knew Daryl worked around the farm, she suspected he spent time with her father but they’d never talked about it. Still, his father dying was major news and she knew Daryl would be upset. She felt a pang in her heart, as if it wasn’t broken enough, she was now concerned for Daryl too.

‘but he’s like…old’ Zach said.

Maggie nodded ‘yeah, we were all pretty happy when he came to his sense and ended it.’

Nobody spoke of it again but late that night when everyone else was sleeping Beth crept from her bed, took her father’s old van and headed for the Dixon’s.

 

She didn’t pause to consider how absurd it was until she was knocking on Daryl’s door in her pajamas, a purple fleece blanket pulled around her neck.

‘Jesus Beth, what’re ya doin’ here?’ he asked, opening the door to her.

‘I’m sorry about your dad’ she blurted out.

‘Shouldn’t I be sayin’ that ta you?’ he replied hoarsely.

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes. And took another step out, shutting the cabin door behind him. He was wearing black sweat pants with a faded grey tee and Beth caught herself lingering on those arms. She looked away as he sat on the top step. She followed his lead and perched next to him, sighing as she did so. Once this had been the most natural thing in the world for them, now it felt awkward. Memories of the last time she was here flooded back and she tried to push them away. Tonight was night the time to rehash their past.

‘I didn’t know’ she whispered ‘Maggie told me this afternoon and I couldn’t get away until now.’

‘Yer boyfriend know yer here?’

Beth shook her head.

‘Zach right?’ Daryl asked. Beth nodded slowly.

‘Hershel told me. He always told me what you were up too, Maggie as well. He was so proud of both his girls. Every time he told me about you getting these great grades and making friends and studying abroad I was so happy for yer Beth. Knew ye’d done the right thing.’

She didn’t know how to answer that so she took a leaf from Daryl’s book and stared straight ahead.

‘It was nice of you to come today’ she said and was surprised at how formal she sounded.

‘course I was there. Gonna miss that tough sonofabitch’

Beth snorted ‘I don’t think I ever heard anyone say that about Daddy before.’

Daryl shrugged ‘I did, ta his face too. He was a good man Beth.’

She nodded, ‘he was’. She teared up a little ‘was’, she repeated the word, ‘doesn’t sound right’.

Daryl nodded sympathetically ‘takes some getting used ta’ he agreed. He lit up a cigarette and offered one to Beth, just as he always had. It was almost a joke because she always declined but this time she surprised him and lit up.

‘They teaching you to smoke at that fancy college?’ he asked.

She shook her head ‘No, I just like the way it smells. Reminds me of an old boyfriend.’

He smirked in response but kept smoking. She held her lit cigarette a few moments before stamping it out.

‘I should get back, to the farm’ she said.

He nodded.

‘You doing OK?’ she asked as she stood up.

He nodded again.

‘Ok, well….’

‘Beth’ he spoke her name.

‘Yeah’

‘Why'd yer come here?’

‘I told you, I just found out about your Dad.’

‘and ya just wanted me to know ya knew?’

‘and that I was sorry’.

He reached up and placed a hand around her wrist ‘thank you’ he said.

‘Guess we’re both orphans now’ Beth whispered, slowly lowering herself back to his level.

‘I hadn’t thought of it like that, until just now’ she continued to whisper.

‘ain’t an orphan if yer an adult when it happens. 's just bullshit or not, I dunno. my old man, was stuck behind bars for years, probly woulda died there anyway’ Daryl replied.

‘Did he have a funeral?’ Beth asked.

Daryl grunted ‘they buried him at the prison. Told me later. Took me to visit his grave. Merle ain’t allowed down to max to see it.’ At this Daryl’s voice began to break up ‘buried him next to some piece of shit paedophile. Fuck he’d be turnin’ in his grave. I know, I know he wasn’t some hero or nothin' but he shouldn’t be left there next to that either’.

Beth didn’t know what to say so she wrapped her arm around Daryl who was sobbing now and began to cry too.

‘m’ sorry’ he said, ‘s’not like yer dad.’

Beth shrugged ‘No but he was still still your dad, and now they’re both gone.’ She looked up to the stars.

‘I know you don’t believe in heaven, but I like to think they’re up there looking down on us. My dad’s probably mad I’m out this late because I might catch a cold, your Dad’s probably pissed because the moonshine up there’s not as good as what he can make down here’.

Daryl smirked ‘Thanks for comin’’ he said wiggling his shoulders to remove her arm.

‘You best be back to that boyfriend before he knows you’ve been hanging out here’.

She nodded but leaned over to softly kiss his cheek before standing again to leave.

‘I’ll see ya around Daryl Dixon’ she said before walking around.

He waved as she drove off into the night. She had intended to see him again after that but it hadn’t happened. She spent the next two summers at home but he wasn’t in town, away for work she heard. That was the last she’d seen of him in years, waving at her by the moonlight until now...


	5. Part V

_A loud clap of thunder shook through the car and broke through her memories, bringing her back to where she was…_

Beth took a closer look at the place where she’d arrived. She must have been sitting in her car for close to twenty minutes by now, shaking and crying, reminiscing about times past, trying to determine whether or not she should just back out and drive away. She could see the lights on inside the cabin; he must have known someone was there, but probably not that it was her. He wouldn’t recognise her white Nissan any more than she recognised the Blue Ford truck parked to the side. She was about to restart the car and drive away, somehow ashamed she’d reverted back to her teenage self when the door opened. She could make out his silhouette and that was all it took for her to run to him.

In the small space she ran from her car to the front door, Beth got soaked, the rain plastering her bangs to her forehead. She reached him just as a crack of lightening lit up the darkened sky, stopping her before she threw her arms around him.

‘Beth, c’min’ he said urgently, stepping back to allow her inside.

It was five years since she’d been inside this place, the cabin that had briefly been theirs but ultimately belonged to and represented _him._ She was taken aback by just how little it had changed since those days. He hadn’t altered a single thing she’d done to the place, from the robin blue front door to the floating shelves she’d filled with the three teacups his mother had left behind. She took it all in quickly, until she was just as shocked to find another surprise. Sitting at Daryl’s kitchen table in black jeans and a sleeveless flannel shirt was a woman. Beth felt her cheeks flush as she took in the sight of her. Long dark hair and deep blue eyes, she was attractive, maybe a few years younger than Daryl and looked very comfortable sitting at the table, a beer in her hand.

‘I’m, I’m sorry’ Beth spat out. Her heart was racing now. If she’d felt foolish in the car, she felt even more so now that she’d found him here with company. She shook her head. Of course he had a girlfriend. Why had she assumed that after she left he’d stayed on his own? For five years? She was foolish to have even thought it and yet she had. Whenever she’d tried to imagine what he was doing now she never pictured another woman in his life. She hadn’t wanted to and yet, here she was.

‘Beth, this is Sarah’ Daryl said nodding towards her then taking his seat again.

Beth remained awkwardly in the doorway, unsure what to do, feeling her cheeks burn brighter by the second.

Sarah smiled warmly at her ‘Beth’ she said, ‘I’ve sure heard a lot about you’.

Beth saw Daryl wince but he didn’t speak as Sarah continued.

‘I was, I was just headin’ out, why don’t you sit down a while… looks like you’ve had a rough day’.

Beth found herself nodding dumbly, unsure what to do now. This other woman seemed so composed while she stood there, dripping wet and slightly humiliated.

‘Daryl, go get the girl a towel to dry off’ she said and he got straight up to head down the back where he kept the linen.

She smiled at Beth again ‘It really was nice to meet you honey’ she said, then called back to Daryl, ‘I’ll come by again tomorrow, around lunch time. Love you’ she said as she reached for an umbrella and headed to her car, the blue Ford Beth had assumed was his. Daryl re-entered and passed her a towel which she awkwardly received and ran through her hair.

She really was unbelievably wet for such a brief encounter with the weather so she wiped down her bare limbs and kicked off her wet flip flops, still hovering in the doorway.

‘So yer gonna stand there all afternoon or did ya wanna actually come in?’ he asked.

She smirked awkwardly and joined him in the kitchen, taking the seat Sarah had just vacated. Beth tried her best to compose herself before speaking again.

‘She seems nice’ she started, ‘how long have you guys been together?’

Daryl let out a little laugh ‘Ha is that what it looked like?’

Beth nodded.

‘She’s my sister’ Daryl said, then took a long sip from his open beer.

‘You haven’t got a sister’ Beth said, confused.

‘Turns out I’ve got two. Typical Will. Still screwing around the outskirts of Atlanta even after he was married. Probably more of them out there but these two always knew he was their father. Never met him but knew his name. When the newspapers ran some story ‘bout him dyin’ they found me, been a whole saga.’

‘Wow’ Beth breathed.

He nodded ‘Yep. Just when ya think evry’ones dead or behind bars theres two pain in the ass sisters who decide they gotta check in on ya’. He said it with a slight smile though.

‘Claire, the other one, she was more interested in the money than anything else but Sarah’s cool. She’s a mechanic, decided we was family from the minute she met me and that was that.’

Beth took a moment to process what he said.

‘The money?’ there was a phrase you certainly didn’t associate with the Dixons.

‘Yeah, payout from the prison, y’know cuz of what happened to him’.

Beth nodded slowly. After she last saw him she’d Googled Will Dixon and read a few articles about his murder but none had mentioned any money and she’d never even thought about it.

‘Anyway that’s who she is, Sarah. She’s down this way lookin’ at a horse she wants to buy and dropped in to see me. Comes by every couple a weeks.’

Beth nodded again. It was a lot to take in and honestly, she was still trying to collect her thoughts from her fight with her sister. Daryl looked up at her.

‘Y’alright? Don’t wanna insult ya but, ya look like shit.’

Beth couldn’t help but smile.

‘Thanks, and here I was thinking how nice you look and a little age suits you Mr. Dixon’.  If she was expecting a reaction, she didn’t get one, he just kept looking at her so she sighed and began, it was her turn to talk family now.

‘Had a fight with Maggie’ she said glumly.

‘Huh. Nothin’ new there’ he said.

‘She wants to sell Daddy’s house.’

Daryl’s eyes narrowed in.

‘Ya don’t want to?’

She shook her head.

‘it’d be like losing them all over again’ she said softly, her voice cracking ‘it’s the last place I saw all three of them y’know and their memories are all through it.’ She began to cry again, the tears burning her already rimmed eyes. She’d been torn up over this since the moment Maggie mentioned it.

‘Beth’ Daryl spoke her name gently and reached out across the table for her hand but she pulled hers away, closer to herself.

‘So I had this big fight with Maggie, an’ you know I hate fighting back at her, but I got so fired up that I had to leave and before I knew it, I was here. And I shouldn’t be. I feel like I’m eighteen again and running to you when I can’t handle my own bullshit and…. It’s all just a mess. I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t gotta apologise ta me’ he said, his voice still hushed. Outside another clap of thunder broke which echoed through the cabin, causing Beth to shiver. She still had the towel he’d handed her wrapped around her shoulders, beneath that her damp tank top clung to her skin which had broken out in goosebumps.

Daryl looked up at her again and spoke slowly.

‘Why don’t ya get outta them wet clothes? Take a shower n’ see if it calms ya down any. Then see if ya wanna talk to me or go home to yer sister.’ She shivered again, something about the sound of rain always made her feel she should be snuggled up somewhere warm, not stuck in damp clothes.

‘Isn’t that a little weird?’ she asked slowly ‘I turn up after years and you offer me a shower?’

He shrugged. ‘Yer the one sittin’ there wet and miserable’

‘Thanks’ she said standing up, then almost waited for him to lead the way to the bathroom.

He just stared at her ‘y’know where it is’ he said ‘help yerself ta whatever towels ya want’ then his cheeks flushed a little and he looked away as he added ‘yer old robes in the linen closet’.

She padded her way through his home and was struck again by the way he’d left it. She couldn’t spot a single change to signify the time that had passed since she’d last been here. Just like he’d said, her old pink bathrobe was folded up next to the beach towels, exactly where she’d left it. She hadn’t thought about it in years, assumed it had been tossed away after he kicked her out of his life but there it was. Inside the bathroom the handles on the cabinet were the same hot pink she’d insisted on. She stepped into the shower and let the hot water rush over her. Her eyes ached and her head throbbed from the crying and she realised how tense she’d been as well. Further reverting to her younger self she sat on the floor and let the water run down over her.

‘Why am I here?’ she asked herself in a whisper. She was pissed at Maggie, obviously but she knew it had to be more than that. Why did she always run back to him? She’d felt so jealous the moment she assumed he was with someone else.

No relationship she’d had since Daryl had lasted more than a few months. There’d been Zach during college, then Nathan and a few others that had been so fleeting their names were hardly worth remembering but it had never felt right, never felt easy like it had with Daryl. Even when on paper they seemed perfect for her. He’d broken her heart but she’d always known there was so much more to it than he’d ever articulate. She’d thought about it all too often, mostly at nights when she was lonely and wished she could turn back time to those final days in the cabin with him. In the morning she’d remind herself it was in the past, she’d busy herself with work but sometimes she couldn’t help but let herself dwell on him and what might have been.

Eventually she switched off the water and dried off, wrapping a towel around her hair turban style and wrapping the robe tightly around herself before exiting the bathroom. She did feel better, calmer at least regarding the house but there was something else there now too, she was nervous. She hung her clothes over her towel rack hoping they’d soon dry then headed back to the kitchen.

‘Feel any better?’ Daryl asked her. He’d moved now over to the blue sofa she’d picked for this room, the grey throw still draped across the back.

She smiled and nodded as she headed over and sat opposite on him on an arm chair they’d found for a steal on craigslist.

‘Wanna talk to me bout it then?’ he asked. She shook her head, honestly, she didn’t. She’d just stopped crying and didn’t want to start again. Yet here she was, dressed only in a bathrobe while a storm blew heavy outside.

‘Can we just like, watch a movie or something?’ she asked quietly, realising as she spoke she was afraid he’d reject her, send her away.

He nodded almost absently ‘sure, pick whatever you want’

 

‘you got Netflix?’

He smirked then looked up at her ‘still aint got facebook, ya really think I’ve got that?’

She shrugged ‘I dunno, people change’ she said.

He shook his head ‘not that much, yer stuck with the same three DVDs theres always been, unless theres somethin’ good on tv’

Beth headed to the cabinet and opened up the draw to review their choices, quickly picking the best of a bad bunch.

‘Y’know that’s Merles not mine’ Daryl said as Beth popped Jurassic Park into the DVD player.

‘Yeah but I just can’t sit through Fight Club again’ Beth said with a grin.

 

She grabbed a glass of water then returned to her seat, they watched in silence for around forty minutes but it was a comfortable silence. Beth felt herself getting more and more comfortable, the awkward edges of her arrival slowly fading when suddenly another flash of lightening lit the place up before the power blacked out.

‘Shit’ Daryl said standing up and trying the light switch just in case.

‘I’m surprised it held on this long’ Beth said.

He groaned ‘bloody weather, stinkin’ hot all week then it throws a day like this.’

The rain seemed to change direction, suddenly blowing in against the window and Beth moved to look at it, it was late afternoon by now but still so dark outside.

‘What are we going to do now then?’ she said.

‘What us rednecks always do when theres now power.’ Daryl said firmly ‘drink.’

She scoffed. ‘Y’know, I’ve never drank booze with you before’ she said.

‘Well ya weren’t 21’ he answered, squatting down to the bottom left cupboard in the kitchen.

‘and I’ve still never tried moonshine’ she said with a smile ‘which seems kind of odd given that…’

‘ya shacked up with a Dixon’ he finished for her.

She nodded ‘somethin’ like that’.

 

He stood back up, turning around with a glass bottle of murky looking liquid and something of a grin across his face.

‘ya want glasses, old jars or straight from the bottle?’ he asked. She felt almost as though he was testing her but she didn’t know what the right answer was.

‘A glass thank you’ she replied ‘I’m going to keep some class about me’

Daryl poured out a glass for Beth and returned to the sofa, bottle in hand.

‘Really?’ she smirked up at him has he held the bottle to his lips.

‘Hey you’re the classy one’ he said before taking a swig.

Beth neatly sipped on her glass then pulled a face.

‘I don’t know what I was expecting, but not that’ she said.

‘ya get used to it’ he replied, taking a second drink.

Beth grimaced ‘or go blind?’

He shook his head, ‘y’know that’s a myth’.

She was still standing against the window and turned to face back out to the dark sky, the lightening sporadically breaking across it.

‘My Momma loved storms like these’ she said quietly, ‘she used to sit on the old rocker on the porch and watch them. I used to sit on her lap.’

Daryl made a grunting sound so she knew he was listening and she took another small sip of her moonshine, noting it went down slightly easier this time.

‘Daddy hated it though’ Beth continued ‘too many dogs runnin’ off and getting hurt, horses doing the same. Good for business but he never cared about the money, he just wanted to help everyone.’

‘Sounds like Hershel’ Daryl spoke, his voice also low.

Beth turned around to face him.

‘Why’d you keep going to see him? After I left?’

‘He asked me too.’

‘But you wanted me out of your life and then you saw my Daddy once a week?’ she pressed.

He shook his head ‘wrong way ‘round. I had to be outta yer life.’

She drank again and thought about that. Daryl was a man of few words and she felt this was as close as he’d ever come to articulating what she’d suspected for some time now. He genuinely believed the best thing for her was to remove himself from the picture.

‘You didn’t have to be’ she finally replied.

‘I did’ he leant forward to top up her half empty glass.

‘Ya had to get away from this town. Get yer life together, live for yerself an’ not everyone back ‘ere. And ya did that.’

‘I guess’ she sighed then slid down against the wall until she was sitting on the floor, legs stretching out, her knees cracking as they did so.

‘gettin’ old Greene’ he mocked her.

‘I’m twenty three’ she breathed, ’twenty three and still fightin’ with my sister and running to you.’

She couldn’t rest her head back against the wall with the towel still wrapped around it so she pulled it off, freeing her messy waves.

She watched his face but it was as stoic as ever. She’d always hated that, the feeling that no matter how well you knew him, you couldn’t tell how he was really feeling unless he wanted you to. 

‘Do you think I’m stupid?’ she finally asked him ‘getting this worked up over the house?’

He shook his head. ‘I get it. That house, its like part a yer family, and yer family was good. Course ya wanna hold onto that as long as yer can’

She nodded, he understood her perfectly. He always had, that’s why it had been so easy to fall head over heels in love with him, why it had been so hard to let go. She’d never really gotten over him. Part of her had always known that but as the afternoon wore on, she became more and more aware of it.

‘Y’know, when I thought Sarah was your girlfriend, I was jealous’.

‘Y’ve been drinkin’ Miss Greene’ he warned ‘might wanna watch what yer sayin’’.

She smiled and looked up at him from her spot on the floor.

‘That’s why my students call me’ she giggled a little. ‘Miss Greene, somethin’ bout miss makes me sound like a little girl.’

She took another sip for courage, finishing her glass in the process then started again.

‘I was jealous of her and realised that even though I want ya to be happy, I don’t want ya to be with anyone else’.

‘Beth’ he spoke again, that warning tone to his voice.

‘I’m not that drunk’ she said in response. ‘I used to ask about ya every summer when I came home, but you were never here.’

‘Nah’ he agreed, ‘I was working for head office’

‘Were you avoiding me?’ she asked.

His eyes narrowed in ‘Ya think every decision I made for the last five years was because of you?’

She laughed a little ‘no, just, pretty coincidental.’

He nodded ‘good think yer Daddy always kept me up to date with when ya were headin’ home’

Her cheeks flushed a little then, a half confession was as good as she was going to get from Daryl Dixon. She struggled to her feet, suddenly aware of how much liquid she’d downed in the past hour.

‘I gotta pee’ she announced as she headed to the bathroom.

‘Don’t gotta ask permission’ he said.

On her way back from the bathroom, Beth lingered in the hallway. She paused in front of an old gilded mirror she’d hung there, a thrift store find she’d been proud of and he’d restored beautifully. She couldn’t help but stare at herself. Her hair was starting to dry out at its frizzy, curly worst and her red eyes were still puffy. She looked an absolute mess and she was thankful for the dark weather keeping her in the shadows within the cabin. She looked down the hallway further and gasped when she saw it, their handprints, still there on the wall. Just like everything else he’d left.

‘Y’alright?’ he called out to her.

‘Yes. Daryl, come look’ she called out.

He came in just as she was placing her hand over its print, as though testing to see if it had changed.

‘Look’ she said again. He nodded ‘I know Beth. See ‘em there evry day’

Her cheeks burned ‘Course you do, sorry.’ She traced the words she’d written beneath the two hot pink hands.

‘This place is like falling back into the past’ she said, laying her palm flat against the wall once again.

‘How come you never changed anything?’

‘Didn’t want to’ he said softly, taking a step toward her. He came to stand behind her, exactly as he had the day they made the original marking and placed his hand over his.

‘they were good times’ he said, ‘I didn’t wanna let go’.

She could feel him there right behind her now, feel the warmth coming off him as he stood there and suddenly the five years that had passed felt as insignificant as the space between them right now.

‘Oh’ she said as she turned to face him.

Their eyes locked and that was all it took. He leant in to kiss her and she responded hungrily, greedily. They lingered there in the hallway, lips crashing against each other, hands frantically grabbing for a few moments until finally Beth pulled her head away to whisper.

‘I never stopped loving ya.’

He nodded and without another word, led her to the bedroom.

‘I’ve always loved you’ he finally responded, as she threw herself on the bed and he reached for the sash to unfasten her robe. His lips kissed a trail from her hip back up to her lips again.

‘I know I shouldn’t but I’ve loved ya since ya were sixteen years old and told me ya liked Sour Patch Kids more than Oreos’

‘you broke my ankle and my heart’ she whispered back into his mouth as her hands reached for the hem of his shirt. ‘and I still couldn’t stop loving you’.

She’d never cried during sex before but she couldn’t stop herself this time.

‘hey, hey, y’alright?’ Daryl asked, pausing.

‘I’m, I’m happy, this just feels so…’

‘right’ he answered. She nodded and they kept going.

Afterwards she lay curled up next to him. She hadn’t felt this settled or content in a long time, not since she was nineteen and in this very position. It was the exact feeling that had made her reluctant to leave. It was as though this was the spot made exactly for her and no matter what happened in life, this is what she’d always be drawn back to, him.

‘Daryl’ she whispered.

‘Y’know we don’t gotta keep whisperin’ he replied.

She nodded against him ‘I know but sometimes it just feels like you should.’

He groaned ‘course y’ad think that.’

‘shh, don’t mock me. I was just goin’ to say, I missed this, missed you’

‘hmmm’.

‘and ask if you’d mind if I went to sleep.’

‘it aint even six yet’

‘I know but I’m tired and I feel better than I have in a long time and I just want to fall asleep here and enjoy it’

‘whatever ya want then’

‘will you stay with me?’

‘well yer in my bed’

‘sorry, I just meant, til I fall asleep.’

He grunted in agreement and she began to drift off to sleep.

 

She slept solidly the whole night. She’d always slept well when there was a storm blowin and combined with being emotionally exhausted from fighting with her sister and heartbreak over potentially losing the house then the feeling of security she felt sleeping in Daryl’s bed, she’d slept like a baby.

When she finally woke up there was sun streaming in through the bedroom windows. Daryl was already dressed and perched on the end of the bed, scribbling into a little notebook.

‘mornin’ sweetheart’ he mumbled as she looked at him. She couldn’t help but smile at the term of endearment she hadn’t heard in such a long time.

‘what time is it?’

‘just afta nine’

She groaned, unable to believe she’d slept in that long. She stretched out her limbs then sat up, noticing the sun streaming in through the window. The storm had officially passed.

‘What’re you working on?’ she asked him.

He made a grumbling grunting noise and tried a few times to start his sentence before finally asking

‘How much does Maggies want to sell the farm for?’

‘What?’

‘The farm, the house, how much does she think y’all will get for it?’

Beth rubbed the sleep from her eyes and tried to focus.

‘I’m not really sure, why?’

‘I’ll buy her out’.

‘What?’ she understood his words but they were crazy.

‘I’ll buy her out. That’s what ya do in times like this right? The house is in both yer names right?’

She nodded.

‘I’ve got tha money, I think, depends what she’s asking. Might have to sell off some of the land, that back three acres maybe but that wouldn’t matter much. Ya’d still have the house, the pond, the barn.’

Beth sat up straighter and smiled.

‘Daryl, you can’t buy half the farm off Maggie.’

‘I can. I wanna’.

‘Daryl’

He crawled up the bed to sit next to her, taking her hand in his.

‘Last night. It wasn’t a onetime thing right?’ he asked.

 ‘I don’t want it to be’ she replied.

‘Last time, I pushed ya away, cus I didn’t think I’d ever be worth a damn, thought ya needed to get far away and do better. An ya did. Got yer degree, yer certification. And Will did the best thing he could ever do for any of us and got himself stabbed in prison. And now I’ve got the money just sittin’ there, didn’t wanna touch it but now I know what it’s for. I’m never gonna be a rich man, not gonna be successful and I’m always gonna be a Dixon… but I’ve been workin’ hard and I’ve got his money an’ I can do this for yer. I wanna do it for ya.’

‘I never cared about any of that’ Beth said, suddenly angry.

‘I loved you, I fought with my sister about you, defended you and us to her and you broke my heart. I felt so cheated by you and I knew, I knew why you were doin’ it but you’re so damn stubborn.’

‘I’m sorry Beth’ he spoke.

Her voice was rising, ‘I don’t want to be angry at you but I am, I’m so angry because for the last five years I did all the things I was supposed to do but none of the things I wanted to. I wanted to come home to you.’

‘Let me make it up to ya’ he said, gently stoking her hand.

‘You can’t buy back time’ Beth said sadly.

‘Not just the money Beth. I promise ya I’ll never leave ya or push ya away again, not unless ya want me too.’

She sighed and clutched his hand tighter.

‘You want me to move back here? Get a job local and stay here, in Georgia, with you?’

He nodded.

‘Why didn’t ya ever write me? Or when you saw me after Daddy’s funeral, or after.’

‘I thought I wasn’t any good for ya Beth’

‘but you are.’

He nodded ‘last couple of years, started to see things a little differently. See myself differently. I thought bout ya, all the time. Look at this place, I couldn’t let go but I lost track of ya, once yer Daddy died and I just wasn’t brave enough to seek yer our but this summer, I stayed, here and then you turned up an it was the fuckin’ best thing that ever happened to me Beth. I don’t want to lose ya again.’

‘you mean it?’ she asked

‘all of it’

She turned her head to kiss him.

‘Ya gonna live there with me?’

‘Whatever ya want’ he said.

She smiled ‘Are we being foolish and impulsive?’

‘Maybe’

‘I really wanna try, make it work this time’.

‘me too’.

 

Later that morning they arrived at the farmhouse. Maggie was sitting out the front, nursing her youngest while the older girl kicked a ball around the lawn. Beth could see her sister groan when she registered Daryl stepping out of the passenger seat.

‘Figured that’s where ya were’ she called out ‘just didn’t know he’d come back here with ya’.

Daryl shrugged it off ‘G’mornin’ Maggie’ he said.

‘Josie,  go grab Daddy for me’ Maggie said and the little girl ran off in search of her father.

Beth and Daryl sat down on the loveseat, which groaned under their weight. Looking around the porch Beth suddenly realised how much work the house needed. That had been Maggie’s main argument for getting rid of the place- the cost to maintain it. Beth wasn’t deterred though; she knew she could do it, especially if she had Daryl working alongside her.

‘Congratulations’ Daryl said, nodding at the baby.

‘Thanks’ Maggie muttered.

‘That’s little Maisie’ Beth informed him.

Glenn appeared at the door right then and immediately put his hands out in front of him

‘I come in peace’ he said, stepping onto the porch, then headed to Daryl and shook his hand.

‘Hey man, good to see you’

‘Maybe’ he answered in response and Beth grinned at her brother-in-law, the peace keeper, who sat down beside his wife but looked at Daryl as he said ‘best advice I can give you is don’ get involved in a Greene family feud’

Daryl’s cheeks flamed a little red but Beth spoke.

‘We want to buy you out of the house’ she said calmly, looking at her sister.

‘What?’ Maggie sounded as shocked as Beth did when Daryl originally made the offer.

‘Well, Daryl does. He’d be putting up most of the money.’

Over breakfast the two of them had sat down and reached an amount they felt sure Maggie would accept. Beth had been saving for a down payment on her own place anyway and could put up a few thousand of her own, so that Daryl wasn’t giving up everything.

Glenn shrugged ‘seems like win-win’.

‘It’s not’ Maggie said sternly, pulling the baby off her breast to burp.

 

‘You were torn up over selling the house Maggie, I’ve seen you looking it over since we got here. Its just’ at this Glenn looked down, a little embarrassed ‘I lost my job. We’re OK, something else will come up, but Maggie wants to stay home with the girls and I don’t know how much longer we can do that’.

Beth sighed ‘Maggie, why didn’t you just say that?’

Her sisters eyes hit the floor as well. ‘Y’know we got money when Daddy died, but we extended the house, bought the new car, took Josie to Disney. I didn’t want ya mad at me for  blowing it all. Besides, I figured you’d need the money too, to  buy a place of your own.’

Beth smiled, still clutching Daryl’s hand.

‘I don’t want a place of my own, I want this place. I want to live here…just took me coming back at the right time to realise that’.

Maggie winced. ‘I thought that was all long finished’ she said cooly.

Beth could feel Daryl tense up beside her and her cheeks grew a little rosy as she answered her sister.

‘Not really, not ever.’

‘So what, you spend one night with him and now you’re going to just live with him?’ she shifted her attention to Daryl ‘You’re seriously still that hung up on her? You’d buy me out just to make her happy?’

Daryl nodded and Maggie opened her mouth but it was Glenn that spoke.

‘This isn’t a surprise Maggie. Hershel always said it would end up this way…maybe not the house, but Beth, back here with him.’

‘What?’ Beth’s focus shifted to her brother in law.

‘He really liked Daryl, you all know that.’ Looking at Daryl, he kept speaking ‘you spent a lot of time with him, towards the end and I know he really appreciated that. Told me all the time what a decent man you were, how well you kept the place. How you wouldn’t take his money.’

Daryl nodded but remained silent.

‘The last time I spoke to Hershel, just before he died, he told me how happy he was that Josie was on the way, how settled Maggie was. And he told me he wished he could have stuck around a little longer, to see us with the baby, and you two back together.’

This was shocking to Beth. Of course she knew Daryl visited her daddy and worked around the farm but she didn’t know he’d been a topic of conversation. Her father hardly ever spoke about Daryl too her, and never once about them resuming their relationship.

‘Daddy always believed in God’s timing’ Maggie whispered. She smiled weakly at Daryl

‘You really love her, don’t you?’

‘Yes M’am’ he answered in sincerity.

‘And you don’t think y’all are rushing into this a little impulsively?’

Beth shook her head ‘I think I’ve been avoiding this for too long.’

Glenn took the baby off Maggie as she stood up and reached out to her sister. They met in the middle and embraced on the porch.

‘Well alright then’ suddenly Maggie started to cry. ‘I’m sorry for what I said yesterday’

‘I’m sorry too’

Behind them Glenn rolled his eyes and groaned theatrically ‘girls’ he said, shaking his head at Daryl.

‘It’s, its really kind of perfect’ Maggie said. ‘Keeping the house, in the family’

‘and you can all come and stay whenever you want’. Beth heard herself say it before she’d even thought it but of course it made sense, angry or not, they were sisters. She wanted all her Daddy’s grandbabies to be nursed on that rocker and run around the barn. This was where they belonged.

She started to tear up too and the sisters giggled as they clung to each other. Josie reappeared at the door then and threw herself around her mothers legs.

Beth knelt down to her level. ‘Josie, this is Daryl’

‘Hello’ the little girl said to him in a quiet voice.

He knelt down and held out his hand for a hi five which she timidly gave him then he went for another high, then low, then soon had the little girl in giggles.

‘I didn’t think Daryl Dixon would be so good with kids’ Maggie said to her sister.

‘Told you ya just had to get to know him’

Glenn stood up.

‘Are you two staying for lunch?’

Beth looked to Daryl who shook his head ‘I can’t. Sarah’s coming by this afternoon.’

‘Tell her to come here’. Again, Beth’s mouth spoke before she thought but it did make perfect sense. She wanted to meet her again, properly and if Daryl was going to be living her with her, then it made sense his sister should see the place. And meet the family. Her cheeks flushed again but happily this time.

‘What?’ he said.

‘Its nothing. Invite your other sister to… I was just..’ she stopped to giggle almost nervously ‘was just thinkin’ bout us all being one happy family.’

He groaned ‘you always gotta be so corny?’

She nodded, smiling.

‘Turns out Daryl’s got two sisters’ Beth explained to Glenn and Maggie who were watching on, slightly bemused.

‘I’m sorry man’ Glenn said with a smile ‘I’ve got two and I’m always the odd man out. With these two as well’ he said, nodding towards the Greene girls.

Daryl shrugged ‘I’m gettin’ used to it.’

‘Well we’re just going to grill out the back but invite them over, like Beth said, we’re all family now’.

Daryl looked a little embarrassed as he walked back towards the car, phone attached to his ear.

Beth sat for a moment to take it all in. Maggie and her little family fussing over each other on the steps, their Daddy’s chair rocking in the breeze, her Momma’s cross stitch still at the front door; and Daryl. He suddenly seemed like the missing piece of the puzzle. Like he’d belonged there all along and they’d just taken too long to realise.

‘You look happy’ Maggie teased.

‘I am’ Beth nodded, ‘I really, truly am. I haven’t felt this was since I first left Georgia.’

Daryl came back up the stairs just then ‘they’ll be here around one’ he said ‘that Ok?’

Maggie nodded ‘That’s fine. It’ll be nice to meet them, and get to know you’ she reached out and threw her arms around him. Daryl stood there stiffly which made Beth chuckle a little ‘you better treat her so good’ she whispered before releasing him.

‘Oh I will, I hear her sisters kind of crazy’ he said, relaxing again.

Beth felt as though her heart was about to burst from her chest. Her family had been destroyed and she’d felt somehow fractured ever since but now, with everyone here, she felt as though she was truly healing.

Glenn headed into the kitchen to grab some meat and Maggie took Josie and the baby for a diaper change, leaving just the two of them on the porch.

Beth stepped over and placed an arm around his waist, sliding into the crook of his arm. He pressed his lips against her forehead and she smiled.

‘Welcome home’ she whispered as they looked out across the farm.

‘Home’ he repeated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and the feedback I've received.   
> I still fell like this isn't as great as the story I saw in my mind but I hope I've done them justice.   
> Happy to have this finished though, I feel like they were just constantly on my mind this past month and although I always knew this would be the conclusion, I'm really glad to have it down and out there.


End file.
